


Safe, Sane, and Consensual | Kinktober 2020

by reginahalliwell



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: Fluff, Intimacy, Kink Negotiation, Kinktober, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot Collection, Safeword Use, Smut, Tenderness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-01
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:27:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 31
Words: 31,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26777374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reginahalliwell/pseuds/reginahalliwell
Summary: Series of unrelated Patrick/David one-shots based on thatisntscience's Kinktober 2020 prompts.
Relationships: Patrick Brewer/David Rose
Comments: 350
Kudos: 239





	1. Threesome

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

“You’re sure you’re up for this?” Patrick asked, although David had been clear that he wasn’t exactly unwilling to jump back into bed with Jake.

“Completely sure,” David agreed, smiling and kissing his husband softly. “But that doesn’t mean we have to do it,” he reminded the younger man.

“I know.” Patrick nodded, rehashing in his mind how many times they had gone over this, and reminding himself of the safe word they had agreed upon that meant they needed to stop everything and leave. _Mahogany_.

Patrick was back in his short-sleeved party shirt, and David again wore a leather jacket. This time, he wore his favorite one, though, hoping he could rewrite its history. The last time he had worn this jacket had been to seduce Sebastien, and the jacket deserved much better. As did David.

David looked at his husband, seeing the nervous lilt to his smile, the anxious energy as he shifted his weight. Instead of knocking on the door, David suddenly pressed Patrick up against the wall, pinning him there with his broader frame. David felt Patrick’s breath hitch, his arousal immediately replacing the nerves he felt only a moment ago. David ran a hand up Patrick’s side, dipping in to grip at his hip and press himself even harder against Patrick’s fast-hardening cock.

“Fuck,” Patrick breathed out, the tension running out of him. “David,” he whimpered, leaning into his favorite spot against David’s neck to kiss him there.

“I got you,” David said, “Jake only gets you for the night. I have you forever,” he promised, the unspoken care for his husband imbued in the words. Patrick shivered, thinking of just how well David _took care_ of him.

Before David could pull away to get the main event started, the door opened and Jake looked out at their position against the wall. “Getting started without me?” he asked, grinning.

“Just warming things up,” David answered coolly.

“I’ve got the whiskey out,” Jake announced, knowing that the pretense of a drink would also ease them into things.

“Great,” Patrick said, gently pushing David back from him and leading the way into Jake’s apartment, striding more confidently than he felt.

Thankfully, they had already gone over their rules at what had to have been the most awkward lunch Patrick had ever attended. Patrick wasn’t worried about Jake’s status—the man was nothing if not regimented in his testing regularity. He also used condoms with all his partners, thankfully.

“To a fun night,” Jake toasted as they held their whiskies up.. David turned to his husband with a smile, knowing they both remembered with perfect clarity the words they shared in Patrick’s car the night of their first kiss. _That_ was a fun night. But hopefully, this would be too. At least this time they could be certain the rest of the town wouldn’t show up.

Jake smiled at his visitors, that easy way that he had of making them both comfortable and aroused at once. Patrick breathed out a sigh as his chest warmed from the whiskey, his cock still hard from David’s surprise outside the apartment.

He leaned in, offering his husband a soft kiss, one that David immediately deepened. They were so practiced in this, their kisses numbering in the tens of thousands by this point. A hand landed on Patrick’s back, a hand that wasn’t David’s, and Patrick let his anxiety go, pulling back from David’s mouth to smile at their host.

“Can I kiss you?” Patrick asked, his eyes focused on Jake’s mouth, wondering if this experience would live up to the compliments David had begrudgingly given about his time with Jake. It didn’t take away from what the two of them shared, but it sounded like a night with Jake was a treat Patrick would be happy to indulge in.

Rather than answering him, Jake just leaned in, planting his mouth on Patrick’s, his tongue a whisper against Patrick’s lips. David’s arm stroked his side reassuringly, and when Patrick moved to adjust his position to better kiss Jake, he saw out of the corner of his eye that Jake’s hand was fondling his husband through his acid washed jeans. The outline of David’s erection was painfully obvious in those jeans, and it was precisely why Patrick loved to see him in them.

With things in full swing, Patrick’s nerves finally left him. Jake tugged them both backwards towards his bed, a king-sized monstrosity with a headboard that looked like it was made for bondage play. David groaned as they reached the bed and Jake immediately undid the buttons of his jeans. Smiling, David knelt down and started to suck him, his muscle memory instinctively giving Jake what David remembered he liked.

David’s eyes darted from Jake’s to his husband’s, seeing Patrick gasping with pleasure as Jake worked his cock with his practiced hand. If Jake weren’t so good at this, his chosen career as a woodworker would be an actual joke. But the man was _seriously_ talented.

“You like this, baby?” David asked as his mouth popped off Jake’s cock. “You like seeing me suck him off while he jacks you?”

Patrick whimpered, unable to offer a verbal response. He was too overwhelmed. A sharp nod and a jerk as Jake brought him closer was all David needed to know.

“Enough,” Jake announced after a few more moments of David’s mouth on him. David pulled away obediently, watching as Jake tugged off his flannel shirt to reveal the white tank underneath, kicking off his jeans and then pulling the tank over his head. It was enough of a request as either of them needed, and David shrugged out of his leather jacket, watching as Patrick struggled with his own clothing. As David folded his jeans and set the rest of his outfit carefully aside, he saw Jake gently assisting Patrick with his clothes.

Patrick looked over at David as his husband returned to the bedside. “Open me up for Jake, will you?”


	2. Costumes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I know it's ridiculously incorrect for Patrick to ever have his costume outside of the theatre. But because fanfiction, you'll have to excuse that for the moment.

“I don’t know,” Patrick said as he looked at himself in the mirror. “It just seems so… bland,” he finished with a sigh.

“I mean,” David said, looking at Patrick in their bedroom’s full-length mirror. “That’s kind of the point. Brad isn’t exactly a super sexy character. At first, anyway.”

“I guess I thought that after playing the Emcee I might feel comfortable in any kind of costume, but this just seems boring.” Patrick turned, looking at the khaki slacks and polo shirt in the mirror.

“Okay, yes.” David smoothed down the collar of the polo shirt, stepping in behind his husband to look at them both in the mirror. “But you remember what happens later in the play, right? Brad’s outfit gets a little more interesting as it goes on.”

“I, uh, yeah. Why don’t you remind me?” he asked, gulping as he met David’s eyes in the mirror.

A slow smile lit up David’s face, the change in tone obvious. They played this game the last time Patrick had tried on his costume too, but then the emcee was a little sexier to start with.

“Well,” David started, running his hands across his husband’s chest. “Brad starts out as this repressed, nonsexual straight guy, who gets engaged to Janet mostly because it’s what he thinks he’s supposed to do.” The similarities to Patrick’s life were a little cringe-worthy, but they had worked through all of that. Rachel was one of their friends, and Patrick was out to everyone as a proud gay man, and they were happy. Just like Patrick had escaped his societally imposed heteronormative oppression, so too would Brad.

“Sounds familiar,” Patrick murmured as David’s hands stroked his pecs, tweaking a nipple through the soft fabric of his polo shirt.

“Mmhmm,” David hummed into his husband’s ear. “And just like you, Brad’s going to escape. He’s going to figure out that he can be whoever he wants to be, that he’s allowed to enjoy sex, that he can wear things he would never have dreamed of wearing.”

Patrick tilted his neck to the side, giving David room to suck on that spot behind his ear that made Patrick shiver every time. “More,” he demanded, punctuating his request by grinding back onto David behind him.

“So thirsty,” David tsked. “That’s out of character. We’ll have to keep young Brad in the shallow end for now,” he warned.

Patrick groaned. So _that’s_ how it was going to be today. David was in a mood to make him wait.

“Why don’t we just start with seeing what’s underneath this god-awful polo shirt?” David asked, his fingers helping Patrick tug it over his head, watching him from behind as Patrick’s eyes darkened with desire. “That’s better,” David said, reaching an arm up to cross over Patrick’s collarbone, holding him close and tight.

David’s other hand smoothed down the white tank top to where it was tucked neatly into the khakis, deftly undoing the belt with one hand. He reached into them, a larger size and looser fit than Patrick usually wore in pants.

Patrick wore boxer briefs more often than anything else these days, but Brad… Brad had to have on those classic boxer shorts. David’s hand methodically pushed the khakis down his husband’s thick thighs, and Patrick moved himself slightly to allow them to drop to his feet. “There we go,” David whispered into his ear.

Patrick shivered in front of David, looking at himself in the mirror and imagining David’s hands on him, David’s words in his ears, David’s cock pressing against the very thin fabric now covering his ass.

David slid one strap of his tank top aside and sucked a half-hickey into his shoulder, making sure it wasn’t close enough to his neck to be seen in Patrick’s regular button-downs at work. It’ll be gone by opening night, but in the meantime, every time Patrick goes to dress rehearsal as Brad, he’ll think about the hickey that’s just barely peeking out of his tank.

“Fuck, David,” Patrick whined, his breath coming out sharply.

“Language,” David scolded. “The worst thing to come out of Brad’s mouth is ‘dammit.’”

Patrick sighed, smirking at his husband in the mirror and shaking his head. “Tell me more.”

David smiled, releasing Patrick from his arm’s tight grasp as his fingers work their way along his hip bones, meandering slowly to his front. “Brad and Janet’s clothes are soaked so they strip down to their underwear, just like this,” David reminded him. “And then that night, they each go to bed separately, and Dr. Frank-n-Furter visits them, pretending to be the other one.”

David’s fingers reached into the fly of Patrick’s boxers, gently stroking Patrick’s cock. “Brad thinks it’s Janet in bed with him, but it’s not. And finally, finally, Brad gets to experience sexual pleasure with a man like he never has before. And it’s _so good_ ,” he said, watching Patrick’s eyes in the mirror as he worked his husband’s cock in his boxers.

“So good,” Patrick agreed, his eyes not daring to close.

“And when Janet finds Frank and Brad in bed together, she goes off to find her own bliss,” David said, “with Rocky.”

Patrick continued to watch as David jerked him off in the mirror in front of them, finding that this costume wasn’t so boring after all. He’s 100% certain that every time he wears it now, he’s going to be thinking about this.

When Patrick got close to coming, David knelt down in front of him and sucked him hard to finish Patrick off. Patrick came with a cry, relishing the sight of David on his knees in front of him and the mirror image of him getting his dick sucked. David swallowed it all down, unwilling to get a drop of come on Patrick’s clean costume.

“Where are you going?” David asked as Patrick extricated himself from David’s grasp.

“I’m going to try on the corset,” Patrick said, grinning. “If you're up for round two?”


	3. Exhibitionism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

David’s hand tugged on Patrick’s as he led them both into a club in the East Village that David had previously frequented when he was living in New York City. The music boomed, the bass pounding in Patrick’s ears and chest as it dropped.

It was too loud to hear anything the other person was saying in here, so when David pointed over to the bar and motioned like he was drinking something, Patrick only nodded in agreement before they both made their way over to the bartender. He was wearing a leather harness and sparkling body glitter, likely a nod to the various types of people he saw in here. David ordered their drinks…somehow… and Patrick smiled at him as they waited for the very sparkly bartender to set them down in front of them. David handed over his card, opened a tab, and then they were off.

Patrick took a sip of whatever David had gotten for them. He couldn’t place it – but whatever it was, it was incredibly strong. Definitely a double, maybe even a triple. That was good. He was going to need liquid courage for what he expected David had in mind tonight.

They had talked about it, whispered to each other in the darkness of their hotel room last night about this very thing. Alexis had offered her place for them to crash at, of course, and they would certainly be spending plenty of time with her on this trip. But they really needed a hotel room all to themselves on this, their second honeymoon. Or, Patrick supposed, it was more like a homecoming.

He drank down more of the sharp, smoky liquid, noting that David was moving through the space purposefully and knowledgeably. Patrick guessed they hadn’t renovated or anything since David had last been here, since he looked like he could navigate his way through the masses of people and various hallways blindfolded.

David tugged him into the restroom, pulling him into a stall. They could hear someone getting sucked off a couple of stalls down, and as much as the whole thing seemed seedy, it was also definitely turning Patrick on.

David set his nearly-empty glass down on the toilet paper dispenser, squatting to the ground and unbuckling Patrick’s pants. He looked up at his husband for confirmation. Patrick nodded, shaking with desire, as David leaned in – how long could he balance like that, avoiding getting the knees of his fancy designer pants dirty? Patrick wondered absently, all thoughts turning to mush as David’s mouth took him inside.

Patrick’s mouth made all sorts of sounds, though he tried to repress them instinctively. He was still working through some things around shame and sex.

And then David stopped.

“How are you feeling?” he asked Patrick, whose temples were flushed red and his brow was pinched with tension.

“So good, baby. You make me feel so good.”

“Good. I want you to feel good,” David said, stroking Patrick’s cock gently with one hand as he looked up to Patrick’s flushed face. “So remember that thing I suggested we do tonight? Are you up for that, or would you like to finish right here in private?”

It took Patrick a minute for his brain to fully process what David was saying. And even longer for him to accept that what he really wanted was _not_ instant gratification here in this bathroom stall. Even though it would be so easy for David to just finish sucking him off, and then he would get to come… no. No, he wanted what they had talked about.

Patrick cleared his throat. “I’m uh… yeah, I’m interested in doing what we talked about.”

David smiled. “Okay, then. But if you change your mind at any point, you know we can stop.”

“I know, David. I trust you,” Patrick confirmed, pulling his husband off his (now 40-something) knees and into his arms.

David kissed him lightly, then refastened Patrick’s pants, grabbed what remained of his drink, and led them back to the main room, where the sound again forestalled all conversation. David pulled aside a curtain, opening up the equivalent of a “back room,” where others were already having sex.

He looked back at Patrick. “You still okay?” his eyes asking more than his soundless words. Patrick nodded, eyes wide. A couple over to the side of the room was fucking up against the wall, and on one of the leather chaises in the middle of the room, several people were in a pile doing who knows what. The sounds of the music were only slightly muffled here, but enough that the telltale slapping and squishing and sucking sounds of people fucking were filling the room.

David gestured around and inclined his head in a question, letting Patrick decide where he felt most comfortable. Patrick took a moment to consider, then led them over to one of the open chaises and sat down. David smiled, tossing back the rest of his drink and placing the class under the chaise for safety. Then he knelt down, pulled Patrick in for a searing kiss, and went back to work on his husband’s pants.

When he had Patrick’s cock out, David looked up in adoration at him, so proud that Patrick was willing to try this even though he was scared. Patrick rested one hand of David’s cheek, gently bringing him down to his cock in encouragement, before tipping his head back in pleasure at the feel of his husband’s mouth on his cock. Here, in public. Around a bunch of strangers.

“Fuck, baby,” Patrick ground out after a much shorter time than he expected as he got close to coming. “I’m gonna…” and he felt David’s mouth shift slightly to swallow him all down. Patrick laughed, breathless, tears at the corner of his eyes.

“Can I return the favor?” Patrick asked, eyes twinkling.

“Fuck,” David exclaimed, swallowing. He nodded, scrambling to replace Patrick on the chaise, cock already out and ready.


	4. Somnophilia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

They’ve woken up in the middle of the night, grabbed for each other, and fucked each other back to sleep, waking up again in the morning with unfortunately sticky evidence of their sleepy decisions all over them and the bed. That’s a little bit different, because they’re both asleep.

It’s never felt like any sort of invasion or consent issue because it was clear that they just sort of… gravitated towards each other, unconsciously.

But what he was suggesting, well, that was something different.

“Come on, you know how much you love it when we sort of just find each other in the middle of the night and—” Patrick made an undulating gesture not unlike the shimmy David often did. “Well, you know what I mean.”

“I do know,” David agreed, smiling at his husband’s poor attempt to explain somnophilia to him. “And I love that, you’re right.”

“So are you interested in doing something along those lines? You know, being woken up with a blow job or something?” Patrick blushed at his temples despite the confidence with which he made his request.

“I’m interested in entertaining the idea of waking _you_ up with a blow job, or a handjob, or whatever you want. Sure.” David’s words sounded enthusiastic, but there was a hesitancy in his tone that gave Patrick pause.

“What is it?” he asked. “There’s something you aren’t telling me.”

David’s face fell. “It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he started, and Patrick immediately realized the problem.

“Oh, honey, I’m sorry. I should have known better than to suggest this.”

“No, no, don’t be sorry. I _do_ like it,” David protested. “In theory. It’s just…”

“You don’t need to explain,” Patrick interrupted. “You can just say no, and we don’t have to talk about it. Not if you don’t want to.”

“No, I know. I know I can say no to anything we do, just like you can. But I think this might be something I actually do need to tell you about,” David admitted, a little sadly. “Someday,” he qualified. Not ready to talk about it now, then.

Patrick reached his arms around his husband – no small feat, given the different in their heights – and held him close. “I won’t touch you while you’re asleep,” he promised, squeezing David a little tighter. “Not ever, not without your consent.”

Something broke inside of David, and his posture changed, his frame collapsing into Patrick’s. He held him there, strong and steadfast.

After a few minutes of holding each other close like that—and Patrick was pretty sure David wouldn’t be letting go until his emotions were in check—David cracked a joke to break the tension. “So you’re saying if I sucked you awake one morning, that would be a welcome surprise?”

Patrick laughed. “Yeah, that sounds like just about the best way to wake up. My gorgeous husband’s mouth on my cock, my dreams becoming reality. I can’t wait.”

“Anything you don’t want me to do?” David asked, caressing his thumb down Patrick’s cheek so he would know to take him seriously.

“Um, maybe nothing with—” Patrick broke off, gesturing to his ass. “It’s just that I like to be, you know, sure I’m clean down there before you come anywhere near—”

“I get it,” David agreed hastily. “No ass play without prior consent and time to prepare.”

“But you really don’t have to—” Patrick started.

“I know I don’t have to _anything_ ,” David retorted. “But I love you and you want this and it’s something I’m really excited to do with you.”

Patrick sighed. “Okay, if you’re sure.”

“I am. And if something changes, or if you don’t want me to do anything while you’re sleeping some night, you can always just say that.”

“I know, David. You’ve always made me so comfortable,” he said. “So wonderful, husband of mine. So many incredible things we’ve done together. Even when I’m nervous, you make it okay.”

David’s eyes lit up at the callback to their disastrous surprise party for Patrick’s birthday a few years back. He smiled and leaned in for a soft kiss, grabbing a bit of Patrick’s ass cheek to punctuate the embrace with a playful squeeze.

“I love you,” David breathed out. Every time he said it, it had gotten easier. The words flowed out of him now, without him even consciously trying to speak them.

“Love you too,” Patrick confirmed.

And when Patrick awoke the next morning with the soft, wet heat of David’s mouth on his hardening cock, he _did_ love it.

David knew exactly how to work his body, to make it sing for him. David knew how to coax his cock to attention, to stroke and suck in tandem to make it really good for him. He knew when Patrick was close and when things were going to take a while. He knew how to get him to come fast and how to keep Patrick on the edge of coming for a long time. David knew what Patrick wanted, what he needed. And he gave it to him.

So when the dream he had been having faded into the reality of his husband’s sleep-mussed hair covering his groin, and David’s expert-level blowjob skills gentled him out of dreamland into a _much better_ situation, Patrick couldn’t help but laugh, his joy breaking the silence of the early morning when David had no business even being awake in the first place.

This was how early he got up sometimes when he planned to go hiking before the sun got too hot, or fit in a workout before Rose Apothecary opened. But David so rarely forfeited his beauty sleep for anything.

Patrick didn’t take long to realize just how much he enjoyed this, how many different ways David might wake him.

It _was_ pretty much the best way to wake up. Then again, any morning he woke up in bed next to his husband in the home they shared was pretty damn perfect.


	5. Anal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

Patrick had been away at a business seminar Tuesday and Wednesday, then on Thursday David had been at the farmer’s market. Friday and Saturday they had both been at the store together, but with how incredibly busy things were, they were having some trouble finding time to _connect_. Their evenings had consisted of baseball practice (Patrick), drinks with Stevie (David), rehearsal (Patrick), and a business dinner with Ronnie (David, obviously).

Thus Sunday night, with no obligations to anyone else and no need to wake up early Monday to open Rose Apothecary, provided the opportunity for serious one-on-one time together.

Pizza slices in hand, wine at the ready, David was committed to this being a good night for them.

“Ugh, I needed this,” Patrick said with a sigh, leaning his head back on their couch as he let his dinner settle. He reached out the hand not holding his glass of wind to grasp for David’s.

“Me too,” David agreed, leaning in a bit to kiss Patrick’s cheek. Despite the week’s frustration, neither of them was actually mad at the other.

“What do you have in mind tonight?” Patrick swirled the red wine remaining in his glass before drinking it down.

“That sounds like you might have some idea yourself,” David replied, smirking. “What do _you_ want, then, hmm?” David got closer to his husband, putting himself firmly in Patrick’s personal space, the tone shifting as they settled into the warmth of each other’s bodies.

“I want—” Patrick broke off, his temples reddening. He was still shy about asking what he wanted in bed sometimes. It depended on the day. Being so distant from each other this week hadn’t helped things. “I think I need you inside me,” he finally let out before qualifying it with “If that’s okay.”

David set down his now-empty wine glass and took Patrick’s face in both hands. “I need to be inside you too,” he said, with no hint of his usual playfulness. “Come on,” he beckoned, offering a kiss before standing up off the couch to lead his husband to their bedroom.

“C’mere,” Patrick asked, pulling him down onto the bed as their last pieces of clothing came off. “I want you so much, baby. Need you,” he said. He missed his husband, viscerally, need to be so close to him that they were practically one person.

“Fuck, me too, Patrick. Me too.” David agreed, reaching for the lube to coat his fingers. He started to finger Patrick open as they kissed slowly, Patrick’s hands all over him.

Patrick’s ass seemed unwilling to give up David’s fingers; each time he tried to pull them out to add another, it was a struggle. Like Patrick’s body wouldn’t let him go.

“Here,” David said, sitting up and wiping his hand off to spread the excess lube to his cock. “Come sit on my lap.”

Patrick did, his heels resting around David’s back side. David gave him a lingering kiss, then asked, “Condom?”

Patrick shook his head decisively. “I want you inside of me for as long as possible. I want to fall asleep with you inside me,” he whispered. Though, admittedly, condoms did make for less mess. In this particular instance, he was happy with that trade-off.

“Okay, baby,” David replied, holding him steady as Patrick lifted himself up, using one hand to guide David into him as he sunk down slowly. In the silence, only their breathing filled the room as their bodies readjusted to being joined so completely.

Patrick rested his head in the crook of David’s neck, arms around his shoulders for purchase as he began to move. Patrick’s mouth was open, his groans and kisses and cries escaping against David’s skin. It was so deep like this, so fucking intimate. Patrick pulled back once he got a good rhythm going, wanting to look David in the eyes. It wasn’t often that sex was this serious between them; more often than not it was filled with laughter, and that was the best part. But sometimes it was good to revitalize their connection like this.

David’s eyes welled up, his face nakedly bearing his love for Patrick. “I missed you this week. Need to be close to you,” he admitted. David rested his forehead against Patrick’s, closing his eyes after a moment to focus on the sensation of his cock inside his husband. This position was intense, sometimes too intense.

“Love you so much,” Patrick ground out as their pace sped up a bit. He could feel the fluttering throughout his body, his impending orgasm getting ready to lift him into ecstasy.

“Love you, baby,” David mirrored. Patrick loved it when he called him _baby_. And _honey_ and _husband_ and _sweetheart_. They were so fucking saccharine David sometimes couldn’t believe this was his life. But he honestly wouldn’t change a thing about it, even if the old him would have teased him mercilessly for it.

“I’m close,” Patrick warned, reaching down with one hand to grip the base of his cock. “You?”

“So close,” David whimpered, rutting up into Patrick desperately. Sometimes it was like this, their little unspoken desire to come together—or as close to the same time as they could.

“I’ve got you, honey. Let go,” David offered. Patrick whined, his body pushed to its limits and needing release.

Their orgasms crashed down over Patrick and David in pulses and spasms as they rocked into each other. Patrick was practically wailing, his body exhausted with sheer pleasure, and he fell forward into David’s embrace. David's body shook as Patrick’s ass clenched around his cock as he came, extending his pleasure, pumping him of every drop of come.

Patrick’s heartbeat finally started to slow, and he tipped them both over horizontal, heels clenched against David’s back to keep them connected. Patrick stroked a sweat-drenched lock of David’s beautiful hair off his forehead, closed his eyes and pressed a gentle kiss there, David’s softening cock still inside him as they both drifted off.


	6. Toys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: M?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Didn't have energy to write smut today, so you get lots of sexy conversations about budgets and product specs instead.

“Hey, David, what’s this?” Patrick held a package in his hands, considering. He kept both their household and business budgets. He didn’t remember placing any orders, and the return address didn’t sound familiar.

“I don’t know!” David exclaimed on the spot, then actually looked at the box, thinking. His eyes lit up suddenly. “Oh.”

“What?” Patrick tilted his head slightly, smiling at his husband. “What is it?”

“Oh, just some toys I ordered after our _conversation_ a few days ago.” David’s smile scrunched up his whole face.

“Oh,” Patrick agreed, blushing. “That was fast.”

“Well, it seemed like a reasonable time to pay for expedited shipping.” Patrick blanched. “Or maybe not. I was excited, okay?”

“It’d better be worth it, with what they charge,” Patrick mumbled, more to himself.

David smiled. “It’s _definitely_ going to be worth it. With sex toys, you always get what you pay for.” That sounded vaguely threatening, and Patrick shivered in response.

David took the box from him, almost skipping as he led Patrick to their bedroom. No time to waste.

David expertly opened the box, digging through its contents before ultimately dumping the entire box out onto their bedspread in frustration. It was _a lot_.

There was double-ended dildo, a prostate massager, two new kinds of anal beads, a few different kinds of cock rings, two bottles of lube to restock their usual kinds, and a few things whose purpose wasn’t immediately apparent.

“Wow.” 

“I know,” David agreed gleefully. He had gotten a few of these things to replace the ones in his own personal collection, though they had combined their toys into a nice leather box under the bed when they got married.

“What do you want to try out first?” Patrick asked, his eyes wandering over all the possibilities. He shivered with excitement.

“Mmm,” David hummed as he looked them all over. “I’m thinking we try out these cock rings,” he suggested. “How does that sound?”

Patrick thought back to their conversation mere days ago. “Really good. Really, really good,” Patrick let out nervously.

“Do you want to see how it works on me first, honey?” David asked.

“I’d like to try it, if that’s okay. If you can walk me through it.” David always took care of him so well. They had used cock rings only a couple of times, and always on David when we wanted to have a particularly good orgasm. Patrick had yet to try one.

David smiled eagerly, like he was hoping Patrick would say that. Truly he would have been happy either way, but getting to show Patrick how pleasurable new things could be—even when they seemed scary—was one of his favorite things. “Definitely,” David said like a promise. “That’s more than okay. I’m so excited baby, I hope you like it. It’s totally okay if you don’t, though.”

David always felt the need to remind his husband that disliking this stuff didn’t change their relationship, didn’t make him less of a gay man, or less of a husband. And when Patrick thought about it, he knew too that there were things David liked better in bed and things that weren’t his favorite. It didn’t make him love David any less either.

Patrick nodded, already stripping off his button-down from work today and unbuckling his belt. David smiled at him and turned to put everything but the cock rings back into their shipping box and set it aside. He took off his own sweater – today a Neil Barrett classic – and gently folded it before setting it down.

As they both finished stripping, David could see Patrick already getting hard. The mere thought of it was getting him ready, and David was turned on by Patrick getting turned on.

“Mmkay,” David said, coming up to Patrick and giving his half-hard cock a squeeze. “You pick,” he offered, wanting Patrick to choose his own pleasure.

“Remind me the differences again?” Patrick asked, eyes not leaving the choices before him.

“So, that black one is a standard silicone cock ring, no mess, no frills. It makes you harder and makes it take longer to come, and then when you do, it’s way better than normal.” He looked at Patrick to gauge whether he should keep going before picking up a double cock ring, also black. “This one goes over your balls, too, and it’s great for the same stuff and then some, if you can imagine,” David said, grinning. “And this one goes over the head, making it _really_ sensitive. You can use that one with or without the others.” David was starting to sound like a QVC seller.

Patrick blushed, smiling up at David. “Let’s try that one,” he suggested, willing to dip a toe in the pool but not ready to be fully submerged yet.

“Mmm, great.” David moved to their bathroom briefly to clean Patrick’s choice before they used it. When he returned, he asked, “How do you want me, Patrick? My mouth, or my hand, or my thighs, or maybe you want to get yourself off for me, hmm?”

“Fuck, David,” Patrick said, reaching down to grab his cock, which was now fully hard. He looked back up at David, desire apparent in his gaze. “That all sounds so good.”

“So what sounds best, then, baby?” David asked, running a hand up and down Patrick’s bare torso, the other reaching between them to grip his husband’s cock.

“Your mouth. Yeah,” Patrick ground out. “Please?”

“Fuck yes, I want that so much. Can’t wait to get my lips around the head of your cock, hot and red and wet with that cock ring on you. Want to lick and suck you there ‘til you scream,” David told him.

Patrick looked at him in desperation. “Put it on me,” he said, needy and wanting, unable to do or think anything past _David mouth tongue suck hot wet David fuck soft._

David grabbed the ring, ready to put it on him, and dropped to his knees.


	7. Making Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: M

As the opening titles of _Miss Congeniality_ played across their television, David sighed happily and snuggled further into Patrick’s embrace. He was very thankful to have a husband who would indulge his passion for romantic comedies so generously.

A bit further into the movie, David decided he was tired of sitting upright and gently moved Patrick’s body with his hands, molding them into a more comfortable position where he was laying down and Patrick had his feet in his lap. Much more comfortable for David, anyway. Patrick gave him a smile and gently started stroking his ankles, his hand riding up under the hem of David’s soft sleep pants. David’s eyes closed to savor the feeling of his husband’s strong and soft hands on his feet, his angles, his calves. He hummed to himself, cherishing this little treat that he had not-so-subtly manufactured.

When Sandra Bullock was getting her makeover montage, Patrick took the opportunity to re-situate himself, moving David’s feet to the side and then back against the couch as he lay down in front of his husband, spooning against him with their height difference giving them both the ability to still see the film.

David wrapped an arm around Patrick’s front, pulling his husband’s ass flush against his groin. “Are you getting turned on by them plucking her eyebrows?” Patrick joked, “Because I’ve learned a lot about you, David, but—”

“Okay,” David cut him off, thrusting a bit against Patrick’s ass to demonstrate. “Not that there would be anything wrong with getting pleasure from grooming,” he squeezed Patrick’s hip pointedly, “but I’m pretty sure it’s your ass up against me that’s turning me on. So,” he finished, righteously indignant.

“Mmhmm, sure,” Patrick teased. “I get it, I can’t compete with Sandra Bullock. I knew I had Mariah above me, and we all know about Tina, of course, but Sandra too?”

He was joking. David knew he was joking. But his husband also knew exactly which buttons to push and so he was getting a little flustered regardless of the knowledge that Patrick was, absolutely, teasing him.

“Ugh,” David said. “Do you not want to watch the movie?”

“I’m fine with watching the movie, David. It just seems like you might have…other things…on your agenda,” he said, turning his head to look at David’s squinting face out of the corner of his eye.

“I mean…” David started. “If you wanted to make out while Sandra goes on her super-secret undercover FBI mission to infiltrate the beauty pageant – I mean scholarship program – I wouldn’t be averse to that,” he dragged out begrudgingly, like it wasn’t his erection pressing insistently into Patrick’s innocent ass at that very moment.

“You know, I think I could get on board with that,” Patrick said, turning his body around deliberately to face David, whose hard-on was now joined by Patrick’s between their bodies on the couch.

“So I guess I should be asking you if _you_ also get turned on by Sandra Bullock being groomed by a team of aestheticians,” David raised an eyebrow accusatorially.

“Yep, David, you caught me. This whole time I’ve been sneaking off to watch romcom glow-up montages to get hard. That’s definitely it.” The absurdity of the whole joke was spiraling out of control now, and David was sick of it. He just wanted to make out with his husband, and listen to _Miss Congeniality_ (one of his favorite movies, of course) in the background. Was that so much to ask?

“Okay,” David said, putting a stop to it. He pulled Patrick close and wrapped his arms around his husband’s neck, leaning in to kiss him and forestall any comebacks Patrick’s sassy mouth might try to make.

Patrick seemed fine with dropping the pretense too, leaning into the kiss and moving them so he could rest his body mostly on top of David’s, wrapping a leg around him to press their bodies tighter together. “Mmm,” Patrick hummed as David’s hands roamed his back and thigh, squeezed his ass, all the while rubbing themselves against each other desperately.

David rolled them over a few minutes later, knowing how much they both enjoyed the press of his body on top of Patrick’s, the weight and larger frame of him pinning Patrick down exactly where he wanted him, keeping him there and mercilessly rutting against him.

Gracie Lou Freebush was having a moment with her FBI partner Eric when Patrick’s hands reached up under David’s _comme des garçons_ shirt to tweak a nipple and run his fingers over his pecs. A shiver ran up David’s spine, as Patrick knew exactly where his most sensitive spots were. They had spent years leaning each other’s bodies, and it was moments like this where that knowledge came especially in handy.

As a particular bit of dialogue caught David’s attention, he turned his head to the screen, his lips disengaging from Patrick’s neck all of a sudden. “Watch, this is a good part.”

Patrick continued his ministrations. “Aren’t they all good parts, David?” He had seen the movie half a dozen times and knew how much David loved it. There were very few aspects of this film David found fault with.

“Fuck,” he exclaimed as Patrick changed their angle so they were each grinding up against the other’s thigh. “Okay, yes,” he whined. “You make an excellent point.”

David returned his attention to his husband, stroking his fingers through Patrick’s hair (which was thankfully growing out a bit into optimum hair-pulling length) as he leaned back in to meet Patrick’s mouth, their kisses growing sloppier again as they recommitted to their make-out session.

Patrick smiled against David’s mouth, happy that it was Sandra Bullock that had to compete with _him_ right now instead of the other way around. There wasn’t much he would prefer to the feeling of David’s mouth on his, bodies straining against each other, butterflies and affection suffusing him with warmth.

“I love you,” Patrick said, meeting David’s eyes.

“Love you too.”


	8. Begging

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

“What did I tell you?” Patrick asked solemnly, his eyes dark with purpose.

David gulped. “Not to move or I wouldn’t get to come,” he replied clearly, his contrition evident.

“Right. So you know what’s going to happen now, don’t you?” Patrick looked down at the sight in front of him, David spread out on his stomach, ass in the air, thighs shaking with desire and muscle strain.

“I don’t get to come,” David replied sourly, not even trying to avoid the consequences of his actions.

“Good boy.” Patrick stroked his cock, once, twice, groaning as he looked at David laid bare before him. “You’re right, you broke the rules, and you have to face the consequences.”

He stroked a finger down David’s ass, leaned in and bit down on the fat of one cheek, eliciting a groan from David beneath him. “But I’m still going to have my fun,” Patrick continued. “And you’ll just have to deal with it.”

David whimpered beneath his touch. Patrick paused, listened, and asked “What’s your color, David?”

“Green” came back immediately and enthusiastically. So even if David was upset at not being able to come, he was still very much invested in this scenario.

“That’s good, baby. Thank you for telling me.” Patrick smiled to himself, thankful that they got to play these games often. Too frequently he slipped back into his own inexperience in sexual matters and let David lead – and choose. Sometimes it was nice to give himself the opportunity to take what he wanted, to do what he couldn't voice, to be a little more dominant in bed than he allowed himself on a regular basis.

He leaned down, parting David’s ass cheeks to lick at his hole. The little puckered rosette was still wet and he wanted to give it some more attention, especially now that David knew he wasn’t going to get to come. “Don’t move,” he reminded his husband, receiving a hushed groan in response. “Be good.”

And then he went for at, did his best to get David to break. Licked and gently bit and tongued at his hole, watched as it clenched and released for him in pleasure, ran his wet finger around the rim before oh-so-gently pressing a finger in.

David whined.

And that gave Patrick an idea. Something they hadn’t done recently but always resulted in a _really_ good time.

“Baby,” Patrick teased, “I’ve been thinking about it, and I might be willing to take mercy on you if you beg me to let you come. Maybe. If you want to try and convince me, I’d be open to that. How does that sound?”

There was a pause, and then David breathed out “Green” like it was a miracle. “Green green green. Please, Patrick, please.”

“No, David. I’m going to fuck you and you’re not going to come, and then maybe once I’ve gotten myself off, if you’ve been a good enough boy, I might just let you come.” Patrick smiled, really liking this plan and remembering why they both loved it so much.

“Yes,” David gasped, trying to hold still as Patrick fingered his slowly with his pointer, lube squelching as David’s hole gaped around him. “Please, I want that. I want that so bad. Fuck me, Patrick, please. I wanna come."

“You just be good for me, and we’ll see,” Patrick reminded him, adding another finger.

David whimpered, desperately wanting to rut against the pillow beneath him or push back into Patrick’s fingers to speed up his pace. “Please,” he begged. “Please, Patrick, please, let me come. I want to be so good for you, I’ll be so good.” His words were practically a stream of consciousness as Patrick added a third finger but kept his glacial pace.

“Ah ah ah,” Patrick scolded as David’s body involuntarily shifted to give him more friction. “That’s not you being good,” he said. “Not at all.”

David was desperate. “Fuck me, please Patrick, let me be good for you. I want you to feel so good.” His desires were clearly also selfish, but Patrick could hardly begrudge him that when he was doing his damnedest to drive David wild with need.

“Okay, I’m going to fuck you now,” Patrick said. “What’s your color?”  
  
“Green!” David shouted hoarsely, practically crying with desperation.

“Mm, good.” Patrick grabbed some more lube, preparing himself to fuck David’s ass. “I’m not using a condom, okay?” David nodded, a clear “green” ringing out in their bedroom. “If you can get through this without coming and then you can clean me off, I’ll let you come,” Patrick promised. “I hope you can be good for me.”

“So good, wanna be so good for you, Pa—” Patrick entered him with one clean stroke, taking David off guard and knocking the breath out of him. “Yellow,” David croaked. “I need a second.”

Patrick stroked David’s back calmly as he waited, giving him time to adjust and compose himself so he didn’t come.

“Okay, green,” David said loudly after a few seconds.

“Good, that’s so good, David.” Patrick pulled back again, thrusting slow and deep, this time rubbing against David’s prostate.

“Fuck,” David cried. “I want to be good. Please, Patrick!”

“Mmm,” Patrick hummed, thrusting in and out while holding David’s hips in place so he couldn’t adjust their rhythm himself. David’s groans became more urgent, but he held himself together well enough, and sooner than he expected, Patrick was emptying himself into his husband’s ass. “Fuck,” he cried out as he spilled himself into David. “That was so good, David. You’ve been so good for me.” He pulled out gently, aware that David’s asshole was probably incredibly sensitive at the moment.

“Okay, if you want to clean me up,” Patrick offered, “then you can come, even though you broke the rules.”

David’s eyes were bright as they rearranged themselves so David could gently lick the come and lube off of Patrick’s softening cock.

“Now, how would you like to come?” Patrick asked, grinning.


	9. Bondage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

Patrick tested the restraints, checking that nothing pinched and everything was secure yet not painful. He was immobilized on their bed, each wrist strapped to a slat in their headboard. “They’re good,” he announced to David’s waiting gaze.

“And the spreader?”

“It’s fine,” Patrick confirmed, stretching his legs and maneuvering them randomly to test his range of movement. “You’ve got me all strapped in,” he said, grinning as he realized just how little he could do with his limbs right now.

“Mmm,” David hummed, leaning down to kiss him. “Well, that was the idea.”

“Now,” David smiled hungrily, getting back into sexy mode after passing all the safety checks. “What am I going to do with you?”

It was a moot question—this had all been talked through ahead of time, agreed upon in advance—but it was still fun to pretend.

“Anything,” Patrick said, his eyes bright with desire. “Everything.”

“We’ll see.” David climbed onto the bed and moved in between Patrick’s legs, moving the spreader bar into the wider setting to keep Patrick’s legs as open as possible. The click as it popped into place was more arousing than either of them expected. It broke the quiet between them and suddenly David was on him, kissing and licking and sucking his way down Patrick’s torso.

He tweaked a nipple, then bit and laved at the other. Left a string of saliva in his wake, bruises just starting to appear from the blood David’s mouth had brought to the surface of Patrick’s skin. He never broke the skin, never made a mark that might be seen outside his work clothing, but he made Patrick really feel it.

By the time David made his way to Patrick’s abdomen, Patrick was straining against the restraints, his muscles shaking from the effort.

David looked at his husband, so vulnerable there in front of him, splayed out for David’s pleasure. “Color?” David asked, noting the sweat dripping down Patrick’s brow, the grimace on his face as he continued to struggle against his bonds.

“’m green,” Patrick whined. “Fucking do something already.”

David laughed, kissing him indulgently before pulling back to remind him. “I don’t think you’re the one in charge right now.”

Patrick was groaning again as David decided to bury his face in Patrick’s pubic hair, inhaling deeply to take in Patrick’s musky scent. “Mmm,” David hummed, savoring the heady smell. “Not sure if I want to make you come hard and fast or draw it out to see how long I can keep you on the edge.”

“Fuck,” Patrick exclaimed as David _finally_ touched his cock, which was now rock hard and dripping onto his stomach. “Please,” he begged.

David ignored him. It wasn’t about what Patrick wanted, tonight.

“I’m thinking hard and fast,” David said, and Patrick breathed a sigh of relief. “Or maybe not, if that’s what you want. Maybe I should see how long you can last without coming,” he finished, still dragging his hand up and down Patrick’s erection.

Patrick groaned unintelligibly.

“Yeah, I think that’s the way we’re going to do this,” David said finally, and although this is what Patrick agreed to, he whimpered with need. In this moment, now, he didn’t want to drag it out. He wanted to come, and soon.

“I’m going to take care of you,” David soothed him. “I promise. I’ve got you.”

Patrick’s cries quieted at David began pumping his hand a little quicker, reaching for more lube to slick Patrick’s cock up with, making the whole thing a lot noisier. Patrick looked down at his husband’s hand, moving steadily in his expert, practiced motions, and knew he had no control over the situation. He would come when David let him come, and that was that.

It was easier, then, to let go. To trust that David wouldn’t allow the tsunami of his orgasm wash over him until David was ready.

He was close, now, and his limbs itched to move, thighs trembling as the tension of an impending orgasm built up. And then, suddenly, David’s hand fell away. No friction, no pressure, no movement.

“No!” Patrick cried out, sexual frustration clear in his voice.

“Color?” David asked to confirm.

“Green,” Patrick answered, though there were tears in his eyes. He desperately wanted to come.

“Good.” David smiled, and resumed his motions with his hand as soon as he saw that Patrick’s impending orgasm had subsided a bit and no longer threatened to overtake him.

He leaned in to the wide space the spreader bar had created between Patrick’s legs and dipped his tongue into pre-come at the head of Patrick’s cock before moving in to suck him, the salty musk dancing in his mouth as he hummed in approval around Patrick’s swollen, sensitive cock.

Suddenly, with no warning, David pulled away again. They had been together long enough that he knew Patrick’s body perhaps better than he did. He knew the tells that Patrick’s body gave, and he stopped just before it was too late.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, please!” Patrick cried out in frustration.

“No, remember, you just have to lie there and take it. Unless you need to safeword. What’s your color?”

“Green, fuck, David.”

“Mmkay, well, I know you can do this, so just let go. I’m in charge.” Patrick whined and tipped his head back onto the pillow in frustration, then nodded.

This time, David knew he was going to let Patrick come. Patrick’s body would probably give out soon anyway. So when he leaned in to take Patrick’s cock into his mouth again, it didn’t take long until Patrick’s body was practically up off the bed, back arched, limbs pulling at every restraint as his orgasm took him, and took him, and took him. When he collapsed back onto the bed, David gently began to undo the restraints, wrists first, and then the spreader bar.

“Yetaysuhgoocaruhme” lazily tumbled out of Patrick’s mouth as he lay there, immobilized only by his own exhaustion. “Love you.”


	10. Wax Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, the idea for this particular one-shot was inspired by yourbuttervoicedbeau's Kink!verse fic "I Tread My Troubled Track" (https://archiveofourown.org/works/25068994) where David realizes something he used to enjoy doing in bed is no longer enjoyable because he isn't high. If you haven't read that series (or, really everything yourbuttervoicedbeau has written), stop now and go read it. It's incredible, and what I've done here in a thousand words does not even hold a candle (wax play pun intended) to what they do in that fic. But, anyway, enjoy.

David swore he had done it before and it felt good, despite the sting of it, but wax play was pretty much as far outside Patrick’s wheelhouse as their bedroom explorations had ever gone. Still, there was nothing Patrick was better at than researching something he was unfamiliar with.

He knew all about temperature safety, different kinds of wax, their various melting points, knew to vary the height of his pours. Patrick had, after his and David’s discussion about trying wax play, gone and found a few different kinds of candles to test out.

There were a few different types of candles they carried at Rose Apothecary, so Patrick looked into those first. They had some soy candles, but unfortunately, they were all scented. And the beeswax candle they carried from the apiary a few miles away burned way too hot to be safe for bodies.

He ended up having to order some online from an adult shop that carried body-safe wax candles specially, which seemed a lot out of the way for something that they were just trying out. David might really like this, but that didn’t mean that Patrick was going to, and the fact that they had gotten this far into their relationship without it coming up meant it was absolutely not a deal-breaker for David.

He wasn’t _comfortable_ with it, per se, but Patrick was finally knowledgeable enough that he was willing to try it for David.

“I’m ready whenever you are,” Patrick had said, and tonight, David was ready for it.

It had been a long while since he’d done anything with wax, but David remembered really enjoying it.

David had set everything up, including the rubberized sheet that had once been a sticking point between them. But now it made for easy clean-up—very convenient.

“Where do you want me?” he asked, knowing Patrick would have a preference in mind. He was naked and ready to start.

“On your stomach,” Patrick suggested, “that way we can test things out where your skin is less sensitive.”

David squinted and scrunched his mouth up, but didn’t protest. _Of course_ his husband would be looking out for him like that. “Sounds good, baby,” he agreed, climbing onto their bed and positioning himself on his front, bare ass up and ready to play.

Patrick turned to the candle he had lit a half-hour ago per the internet’s instructions to let it burn for a while before getting started. One of the guides he had read suggested trying it on his wrist before playing to test the temperature, so he tilted the paraffin candle just slightly, careful not to overcorrect, and let a few drops of hot wax drip onto his bare skin.

“Fuck,” he hissed out as the drops met his skin.

Patrick immediately flinched in pain, jostling the candle so much he almost spilled it in his haste to set it down and rub his wrist. The wax had already cooled a bit, its white color like come on his pale skin. He could see why people liked this—the visual was certainly a powerful one—but it also fucking hurt.

“You okay?” David asked in concern from the bed, leaning up to look at his husband.

“It hurts,” Patrick said, eyes wide.

“Well yeah, that’s part of it. The sting makes the sex part better. Pain, pleasure, together.”

“Maybe just not my thing, then?”

“It doesn’t have to be. But if it’s too hot for you, you might like soy wax instead. Paraffin burns really hot.”

“So you’re sure you want to do this?”

“I know my safe word,” David reminded his husband.

“Okay, turn back over, let’s do this.”

David stroked himself a few times, then re-situated where Patrick wanted him. Patrick picked up the candle, moving over to David, where he ran his hand down David’s back and over his butt checks before tilting the candle carefully over his husband’s skin to drip wax precisely onto his right buttock.

“Ow, fuck!” David exclaimed, turning abruptly and grimacing at the small amount of wax cooling on his ass.

Patrick pulled away immediately, concerned about the situation. “David?”

“I’m okay. That just hurt more than I expected.” When Patrick looked hesitant, David tried to reassure his husband again. “Really, go ahead. I promise I’ll let you know if it’s too much.”

Despite his remaining concern, Patrick tilted the candle again to drip another few drops onto David’s other buttock. As soon as the melted paraffin hit David’s skin, he hissed in pain. Patrick couldn’t really tell if it was the kind of pain that sometimes lent itself well to enhancing sexual pleasure. All he could see was that David was hurting.

But he also trusted David to tell him when he reached his limit, and David wasn’t saying anything.

“Color?” Patrick asked, gently caressing David’s skin where the wax was cooling.

This time, David paused before answering. “I don’t know,” he said, brow furrowed. “It’s not like I remember.”

“Let’s stop,” Patrick suggested, wary of David’s hesitation. If he wasn’t sure, better to err on the safe side.

“No, let’s try again. Maybe on my thigh?” David asked. “Green,” he said when Patrick didn’t move.

Patrick sighed and tilted the candle again, this time trying from a different height as the guides had suggested. It didn’t matter – David’s body still recoiled in pain and he grit his teeth, muscles clenching to work through the sting.

Patrick saw his husband going through pain, caught sight of his cock that had gone completely soft, and announced “Red.”

David’s eyes met his, and Patrick rushed to him, cradling his face and kissing him gently. “I can’t, honey,” Patrick said. “Can’t do that to you. I’m sorry.”

“No, baby, no apologies,” David said, kissing him. “I really don’t remember it hurting so much,” he mused. “Not hurting the good way.”

“Can we cross this off the spreadsheet, then?” Patrick asked.

“Yeah. I don’t think I want to do that again.”


	11. Temperature Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wanted to challenge myself to write only dialogue for this one 😂

“Fuck! That’s cold!”

“David, that’s the point, remember?”

“I know! I just wasn’t expecting it to be _so_ cold.”

“Is it _too_ cold?”

“No, it’s fine. I just—”

“Okay, great, then let me get on with it before it melts completely.”

“Oooh.”

“Better?”

“Fuck yes. Mmm.”

“Tell me how it feels.”

“Chilly, like even though it’s just on one part, I can feel it in my whole body.”

“And this?”

“Fuck! Yeah, I feel _that_ in my whole body too.”

“Good. God, you look so good like this, David.”

“Ooh, do that again.”

“Here?”

“Oh, so good. Fuck, yes.”

“So hot, David.”

“Don’t you mean cold?”

“Haha. Very funny. Let’s see you laugh now.”

“Unngh. Okay, okay, I give.”

‘That’s what I thought. How’s this?’

“Ooh, too much too much.”

“Okay, sorry. Here?”

…

“Good, I take it?”

“Fuck, I can’t…fuck.”

“Need me to pull back?”

“Don’t you fucking dare.”

“Okay, okay.”

“Unfff.”

“You close?”

“Mmmhmm.”

“Great.”

“Fuck! Why’d you stop?”

“Because, David, we had plans for a bunch more stuff. This was just supposed to be the first thing, remember?”

“Ugh. Yes. Fine.”

“Listen, if we were a little younger and could guarantee a shorter refractory period, you know I would—”

“Okay, no digs at my age during sex, please. Or ever, actually.”

“Not just _your_ age, you know. I’m not exactly in my prime here either.”

“Well I wouldn’t say that.”

“Okay, we’re getting off track. All I’m saying is we had a plan, and you coming so early was not part of that plan.”

“My husband, the scheduler.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you were excited about the—”

“Yes yes yes. Get back to it.”

“Do you want to ask nicely?”

“Please, Patrick?”

“Please what?”

“Please fuck me!”

“Sure, baby. Anything you want.”

“Ah! Fuck, so good.”

“Too cold?”

“No, just right. Hurry, or it’ll warm up before you can really get going.”

“I know. I did all the research.”

“My hero.”

“Here, I’m gonna—”

“FUCK so good so good more please oh God!”

“Okay, looks like that worked.”

“Fuck, Patrick, how did you—oh wow.”

“Hang on.”

“Mmm, so good.”

…

“Yeah, just like that.”

“So beautiful, baby.”

“Faster, please, please.”  
…

“Fuck yes.”

“Love you so much. Look at you. So fucking gorgeous, David. You’re mine.”

“Yours, I’m yours—Fuck! What the hell, Patrick?”

“You were going to come, honey. Can’t have that.”

…

“Don’t pout. We agreed on this beforehand.”

“Fucking edging…”

“Hey, none of that. _You_ asked for this. Do you need me to tie you up?”

“No, it’s fine. I’m just annoyed.”

“And annoying.”

“Hey!”

“Kidding.”

“Mmmhmm. Sure.”

“Okay, are you ready for this now?”

“Fuck yes, okay, yes.”

“Not too hot?”

“Fuck, so good.”

“I take it that’s a no.”

“It’s perfect.”

…

“Oh, Jesus fuck. Harder!”

“Okay, like this?”

“Unf so good so good.”

“God, David, you look—”

“Fuck fuck fuck so good, baby.”

“Are you ready to come?”

“Not yet!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, was that not you a minute ago desperate and pouty?”

“Hmm, funny.”

“So you’re good with me drawing this out more? I only ask because you—”

“Oh just shut up and fuck me. Please.”

“Well, since you asked nicely.”

“Mmmk, yes, good.”

“More like that?”

…

“No?”

“Can we try the--”

“Oh, yeah, I was hoping we would be able to. This what you wanted?”

“Yes, oh fuck, yes please.”

…

“So. Fucking. Good.”

“Oh, baby, look at you like this, so open, writhing and whining in front of me. I don’t even have you restrained and it’s like I could do anything I want with you.”

“Fuck, yes, you can. Anything you want.”

“And what if I want is to—”

“What?? Why would you stop? Not fair.”

“You said anything I want. I want to give you the best goddamn orgasm of your life, and I bet I can if you’ll just—”

“Ugh.”

“I know baby, soon. So soon.”

“I need it.”

“I know you do, honey. And I’m going to give it to you. You just have to hang in there. Trust me to take you where you wanna go.”

“I trust you, I trust you so much Patrick. I—oh! Oh God.”

“There you go, baby, just let it happen. Tell me how it feels.”

“It’s—so good. Like a massage, but inside. So warm, so firm. Ungghh I can’t I’m gonna—aaah!”

“Not yet, baby. Let me warm it back up, here.”

“Mmm, no, I want it—”

“I know, I know. Here, let me entertain you in the meantime.”

“Fuck!”

…

“Oh, God, that’s so good.”

…

“Patrick, your mouth is so—unggh.”

…

“Fuck, I’m gonna—”

“No, baby, I knew you were close. I know you pretty well by this point, you know.”

“Yeah.”

…

“I love you so much, baby. You know how to push all my buttons.”

“Wait til you see me push _this_ button.”

“Okay, no, we’re not doing that.”

“What? Do you not appreciate my humor in bed, David?”

“No, I don’t appreciate _that_ humor anywhere. But especially not in bed.”

“Oh, so I guess you don’t want me to—”

“Fine, I’ll tolerate it. For now.”

“Good boy.”

“Fuck.”

“Was that too much?”

…  
  


“It was, huh?’

“No—no, it wasn’t. I just didn’t know that would work for me.”

“Hmm, well, I’ll just have to experiment with things you might not be expecting, then, huh?”

“Let’s not go crazy.”

…

“God, will you fuck me already??”

“I know, I am rather like a deity in bed, aren’t I?”

“Ugh! I’m divorcing you!”

“I’m keeping the stainless-steel dildo in the settlement, then.”

“You are such a troll, Patrick Brewer.”

“Hmm. And you love me for it.”

“I love you…despite it.”

“Well, you’ll just have to tolerate it then, I guess. Did you want to keep talking about this, or would you like me to keep fucking you?”

“Mmm, I’d like you to fuck me. Please?”

"Of course, baby."

"Oh my God."

"Are you-?"

"Fu-"

"Oh, wow, you were really close then, huh."

"Fuck. You."

"I think I did."


	12. Hair Pulling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's chapter is dedicated to [this_is_not_nothing!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/this_is_not_nothing) Happy Birthday, tinn! Have some bossy!Patrick :D

“You know what I’ve been dying to do?” David asked with a smirk on his face.

“Hmm?”

“Pull your hair.”

“Like, just generally, or—”

“You know what I mean.” David scoffed, his whole face scrunching up.

Patrick went over to him, slinging his arms around David’s waist and leaning in for a kiss to soothe his husband. Before he pulled back completely, Patrick spoke with his lips millimeters from David’s. “Yeah, David, I do. That sounds good. Really, really good.”

“Mm. Okay. When do you want to do that?”

“Well,” Patrick said, flipping the sign from open to closed and locking the door, “Now sounds like as good a time as any. So we take a quick lunch break and close for a few minutes on a Tuesday, it’s not like the world is going to end.”

“Patrick Brewer, are you closing our store for sex?!”

“Is that okay with you?”

“Um, yes, more than okay.” David grinned. “But what about the projections?” he asked, mock-gasping.

“Okay, well, if you are worried about it, we can just—”

“No, no. You do handle the business stuff of the two of us, after all.”

“Great, David. Now get in the stockroom.”

“Ooh, bossy Patrick. One of my favorites.”

“You like that, huh? Stockroom, now.”

David shivered with delight and practically skipped behind the counter. Patrick followed him, pulling the curtain closed behind them.

“Pants, David.”

“What about them?” David was playing dumb now, knowing that Patrick was in the mood to give orders. He was more than happy to follow them.

“Take. Them. Off.” Patrick punctuated each word with a step towards his husband, his presence pushing David back into the stockroom wall. “Unless you want to get come on them.”

David wanted to quip about how Patrick was so good at not spilling a drop in these very types of situations, but it didn’t seem to be the right time. Patrick clearly had a vision for how this was going to go, and David wasn’t going to be the one to stand in his husband’s way.

He quickly undid his pants, much faster than Patrick could ever figure out, and held them out. Gently taking them from his husband’s hands, Patrick folded the pants and set them on top of a nearby box. Then he turned to take in the sight of David, pants-less, up against the wall, tell and broad and yet in this moment, looking so vulnerable.

“What are you going to do with me now?” David asked, his voice a little shaky with arousal. When Patrick got like this, it was so _fucking_ hot.

“Hmm, well you mentioned you wanted to pull my hair,” Patrick said, absently rubbing David’s erections through his black boxer briefs. “So I figured I’d suck you off, then maybe let you fuck my face a bit.”

David whimpered against the wall as Patrick’s hand shifted from stroking him through the fabric to expediently removing David’s underwear as well, holding him steady as he helped David out of one leg, then the other.

“Sound good to you?” Patrick asked, before dropping to his knees. He tilted his head up at David, hands gently holding on to David’s hips, feeling the impeccably moisturized skin under his fingers.

“Mmhmm,” David hummed, already entranced by the sight of Patrick on his knees like this.

“Great,” Patrick said, reaching for David’s cock, hard and jutting up right in front of his face. “I’ll let you know if you’re pulling too hard. Stand still until I tell you.”

And then, without another word, Patrick dove in, working David in his mouth as he had learned to, sucking and licking and humming around David’s cock. David started to arch away from the wall after a bit, his fingers grabbing at Patrick’s recently grown-out hair that had _surprisingly_ turned into perfect curls on the top of his head.

Patrick pushed hard with his free hand against David’s abdomen, forcing him back against the wall. Patrick pulled off long enough to say “If you want to fuck my mouth in a bit, you’ll do what I say now.”

And that was that. David kept better control of himself, rigid against the wall except for the fingers that was increasingly tugging at Patrick’s hair, yanking his head around, holding him where he wanted him.

Patrick’s soft mouth on his cock was driving David wild, and he couldn’t pull his eyes away from the sight of his beloved husband giving him everything he wanted. Patrick’s fingers squeezed and stroked him expertly, playing David’s cock like only he could. David tugged and tugged at his hair, the curly tendrils glimmering auburn under the fluorescent lights in their stockroom.

“Fuck, Patrick, so good.”

Patrick’s eyes met his, and Patrick nodded, a signal that it was okay for him to start really fucking his husband’s mouth. His jaw went a little slacker and Patrick tried to relax and hold on for the ride as David took control, a little whine in his throat as David’s thrusts got more urgent.

David’s fingers were gripping harder, pulling Patrick’s hair so hard it felt like it might come right out of his scalp. Patrick wanted nothing more than to reach down and jerk himself off while David got himself off in Patrick’s mouth, but he had a better idea.

David finally came with a shout, fingers clenching a chunk of Patrick’s hair, muscles straining as he spurted into his mouth.

Patrick swallowed easily, cleaning the last bits off David’s cock with his tongue. He looked up, David loose and dreamy slumped against the wall.

“You really like my longer hair, huh?” Patrick asked, grinning.

“Mmhmm,” David managed, moving to grab his clothes and put them back on.

“Whoa, what do you think you’re doing?” Patrick asked authoritatively.

“Hmm?” David looked perplexed, or maybe just blissed out.

“It’s my turn,” Patrick said, smiling before he stood up and placed strong hands on David’s shoulders to ease him down to his knees.


	13. Impact Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated E

They’d tried spanking before, and loved it. Patrick loved taking control and bringing blood up to the surface of David’s skin, ass pink and red and peach, up in the air like that. And David, oh, David really loved it when Patrick asked him to be spanked. When he knew the thing he needed to take away his stressful day or his pouty mood was a few smacks to his ass or thighs. And of course, either one of them taking the other over their knee was both fun _and_ hot.

The thing was, to really spank David the way he wanted, Patrick’s hand got sore. The first few times, the sting and bite of it was good, added to his arousal, made him feel it just like he was making David feel it. But, like all things, if Patrick could find a way to make them more efficient, he would do it.

And that’s where the paddle came in.

It was black and had a soft matte touch to it one side, a rougher texture on the other for when people wanted to klick their impact play up a notch. They hadn’t used either side yet, but Patrick was pretty sure he want to stick to the smooth side when it was his turn on the receiving end. But David was intense, he liked things a little harder sometimes, a little rougher. Like he wanted to prove to someone—himself, everybody?—that he could take it. Which, Patrick supposed, wasn’t really the best motivation for something like this, but he figured as long as David continued to make this choice himself, and as long as he still seemed to be enjoying himself, it wasn’t really Patrick’s business _why_ he wanted it.

After all, there were parts of himself that didn’t make sense even to him, things he didn’t want to speak aloud for fear of judgment. Dark hidden-away things that he never wanted to see the light of day.

Patrick shook himself out of his thoughts, which were turning dark, and felt the paddle in his hand, the soft surface calming him a little.

“Which side do you want?” he asked David, handing the paddle over so his husband could feel the different textures for himself.

“Hmm. The smooth side for tonight, I think,” David said confidently, handing the paddle back to Patrick, who nodded and smiled.

“Great. Come, get on the bed with me,” he beckoned, leading David over with his freehand to their comfortable bed, an upgrade from the one they had first moved here with from Patrick’s apartment. This one was a king, and had a headboard practically built for kinks. His old bed was now in the guest bedroom, where Stevie often slept over when she was in town.

Patrick kissed David sweetly, their closed mouths opening just enough to tease with tongues that knew each other so well by this point. David moaned into his mouth as Patrick eased his hand into David’s pants, stroking him through his underwear and getting him hard.

“Come on, off with these,” Patrick commanded gently, knowing better than to try and help get David’s sweater over his head. _There were proper ways to do such things_ , he knew. _One did not stretch out cashmere, even for sex._

David was remarkably efficient in his removal of his clothes, and Patrick found himself needing to catch up. He stripped, tossing his underwear and tee shirt into the laundry hamper and laying his jeans and button-down onto the armchair to one side of their bed. The clothes chair had become so called because of this exact situation. He was thankful that David didn’t feel the need to put his clothes away properly immediately when they were in the middle of _connecting_ , but he also wouldn’t ever be the type of person to throw his expensive, cherished pieces onto their—admittedly very clean—bedroom floor. Hence, the clothes chair.

“Okay,” Patrick said, settling onto the bed to offer David a lazy handjob while they got ready for the paddling part of the evening. “So how many are you feeling tonight?”

“Mmm,” David closed his eyes, savoring the feel of his husband’s hand on his cock, working him into such a state that he was _definitely_ going to come by the time they finished however many he decided on. “How about twenty?”

“Really?” Twenty was a little low, for David, and Patrick was pleased he had taken Patrick’s word of caution to heart. “That’s great, baby. What a great number to try out a new toy with. So good.” Patrick paused his movements, taking his hand entirely off David as he asked the next question. “And what are your safewords?”

“Green means good, keep going. Yellow is slow down or check in. Red means stop immediately.”

“Great, baby.” He picked up the paddle, testing its weight in his hand. “Let’s get you up.” He helped David move into a comfortable position on the edge of the bed, hands digging into the coverlet and cock disappointingly far from anything he might be able to get friction from. “Spread your legs,” he cooed, moving David into place. “God, just the sight of you like this, David… you’re gorgeous. Now, I’m going to smack you with this new paddle twenty times, just like you said. You’re going to count them out for me, and you can’t come until the last one.” Patrick moved the paddle around David’s body showing him where he was going to be targeting, so David wouldn’t be surprised. “So, what’s your color, David?”

“Fucking hell, Patrick. Green. So green.”

Patrick grinned, fixing the paddle in his hand so when he struck, it hit on the correct side. He did a practice stroke, then pulled back, aimed, and landed the first blow on David’s right ass cheek.

“One!” David’s voice rang out. Patrick watched as a gorgeous pink splotch bloomed, marring David’s perfectly tanned skin. Oh, yes, this paddle was an _excellent_ investment. 


	14. S & M

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: M.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a good old conversation about sex between new husbands here, folx.
> 
> Note About Patrick's Middle Name: This is a joke, and is the fault of SEVERAL PEOPLE. You know who you are.
> 
> 43 minutes is a reference to [blueink3's](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blueink3/pseuds/blueink3) GORGEOUS fics [they paved paradise ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21855310) and [from both sides now](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25816729)\- GO READ THEM.

“So she’s a dominatrix?” Patrick asked, hand in the popcorn bowl.

“Mmhmm, yep,” David agreed, turning the volume down two ticks. “I think dom or domme is probably more what she’d use though.” He didn’t need to spell it out. He could see the wheels turning in his husband’s head.

“Have you ever been to one?” Patrick asked, turning to his husband and abandoning the show all together. David winced, pausing the show and setting the remote back down. Apparently it was time for _that_ conversation.

“So I guess since we moved it’s just time to unpack _all_ the boxes, huh?” David asked sarcastically.

“David, you don’t have to share anything with me you don’t want to. But I asked because I’m curious, and because I always want to know more about you.”

“You know it takes me exactly 43 minutes to complete my entire skincare routine, Patrick. Is that not enough?”

Patrick laughed, leaning in and kissing his new husband. Husband. He still couldn’t believe he got to be this happy. He was married to this man. “I will never know _enough_ about you, David.” There was a pause as David took in the news, once again, that to Patrick he wasn’t _too much_ , that there could never be _enough_ his husband would know about him for him to be satisfied.

“Okay, well, it’s just that this opens a whole other can of worms that I’m not sure we—”

“I promise I’m not going to judge you, if that’s the issue.”

“It’s just. It’s like if I talk about this one thing, then there’s other things and I don’t know if you’re--we’re—ready for that.”

“So you have been to a dom,” Patrick concluded from this non-answer, reaching his hand into the popcorn again. “I haven’t, personally.”

David snorted in laughter, then sobered as Patrick glared at him.

“What?? Just because I was having sex with someone I wasn’t attracted for years doesn’t mean I’m a prude. Rachel and I… _tried things_ ,” he finished ambiguously.

“This is all news to me,” David said, his face scrunched up into some sort of indescribable expression.

“Well, I’m telling you now. I know we haven’t really… you know, done much, um, kinky stuff, and I’m just… I’m just trying to have that conversation with you now. If you want to.” Patrick finished his long, rambling sentence, blushing vividly at his temples and avoiding David’s gaze.

“Patrick Marie Brewer, are you trying to get kinky with me?”

“Not if we can’t even have a conversation about it first, David.”

“Hmmph. Fine.” He glanced over at Patrick, who was still obstinately avoiding eye contact. “Okay, yes. I have been to… places… where I’ve had… people… do things to me like that.”

“Gonna need to be a little more specific there, David.”

“Ugh. Okay. Well if my husband wants to know what I’ve gotten up to, then I guess I’d better tell him.”

They both smiled at each other, the moniker “husband” having not lost its shiny newness yet for either of them.

“Yeah. Okay. I think I need more alcohol for this conversation,” David said after thinking a moment. “Actually, you know what? Let’s make that part of it. We’re going to play Never Have I Ever.”

Patrick raised an eyebrow at him. “Umm, okay.”

“Not like we played at your housewarming party. This is a sex-specific, honesty is the best policy game of Never Have I Ever, and we can pause between drinks to talk about stuff.” David loved games nights, so of course he could find a way to turn this very uncomfortable conversation into a game.

“I’ll try it,” Patrick agreed. “But if we can’t really talk about this stuff then—”

“Then we’ll try another way,” David agreed. “But I just, I don’t know, thought this might take the pressure off a bit.”

“Fine,” Patrick agreed, grabbing the open bottle of wine from dinner and pouring them each a glass. Already this was a much more intimate (not to mention mature) version of the game. “Okay, you start.”

“Me? There’s practically nothing I haven’t done,” David spouted, before realizing what he had just said, and amended, “Hmm, okay, right, my idea. Okay, I got it. Never Have I Ever tied my husband up.” Once he realized he could qualify any statement with “my husband,” the possibilities opened up significantly.

Neither of them drank, because of course, neither had Patrick. “Okay, so is that something you’d be interested in?” David asked, watching Patrick’s face carefully.

“Sure,” Patrick said, smiling. “Do I get to tie you up too?”

David smirked, glad that the tension was a little less now. “Pending a full kink negotiation, safety discussion, and safe word establishment, yes. I think I’d be _very up_ for that.”

“Did you talk to your mom today?” Patrick broke in, noting David’s big words.

“No. Why?”

“No reason. My turn. Okay. Never Have I Ever had a threesome.” David glared at him and drank, and then Patrick muttered under his breath, “but not for lack of trying,” causing David to choke on his sip of wine.

“Okay, so a threesome is back on the table, huh?” David asked, smiling. “I’m up for it if you are. With Jake?”

Patrick’s blush told him all he needed to know, and David couldn’t fault him. Jake’s _woodworking skills_ left very little to be desired.

“Anyway,” David said, changing the subject. “Never Have I Ever been fisted by my husband.”

Patrick grinned, noting his careful wording. “But you’ve been fisted by other people, right?”

“Not the point. I want to know how my _husband_ feels about fisting me.”

“I’m a little terrified about doing it myself,” Patrick admitted, swirling his wine around, “But yeah, I think I wouldn’t mind trying that.”

“Great, honey, something we can come back to another time. Your turn.”

“Never Have I Ever inflicted pain on a partner,” Patrick said.

“Is that something you’d want to try?” David asked carefully, watching Patrick’s face.


	15. Gags

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: M

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know literally nothing about gags but I had this idea and I just went with it, and it's my fic so, I guess, deal with it? Hope you enjoy!

The mouthguard had made its first appearance immediately following what they both now lovingly referred to as _the incident_ , but it had come back pretty quickly afterwards when Patrick’s stress had ramped up and he needed the mouthguard to prevent him grinding his teeth when he slept. So the mouthguard came back pretty regularly after that, whenever Patrick felt the need to wear it.

It wasn’t the _most attractive_ thing about Patrick, fine, David had to actually admit that, but it was also somehow really endearing about him. Patrick never put it in until they were literally falling asleep, as he couldn’t really speak clearly with it in anyway, so David rarely saw it.

He got the occasional glimpse of the mouthguard some mornings when they woke up lazily together and David would lean over to kiss his husband awake, only to find a slobbery, morning-breathy mouthguard over Patrick’s lovely, straight teeth.

David definitely didn’t _like_ the mouthguard, but he loved Patrick, and Patrick sometimes needed the mouthguard. And really, if he was being honest, anything was better than that… nose… thing.

But they were watching an action film one night and the villain taped someone’s mouth shut, and it spurred a conversation the two hadn’t really had since their first discussion about some kinks they wanted to try.

“Ugh. Duct tape is the worst,” David scoffed at the screen. “Sure, if you want to rip off an entire layer of skin, that would work, but no thank you!”

“I don’t think he really cares about their skin, David.”

“Oh, I know. I was just thinking about duct tape gags in… other… contexts,” he trailed off, realizing compared to Patrick, he must really have his mind in the gutter. This was some stupid action film Patrick wanted them to watch and all David could think about was his experience with gags in bed.

“Right,” Patrick said, grabbing the remote and pausing the movie. “Gotcha. So, you’re telling me duct tape gags are a hard no, then?”

David’s eyes shot to meet his husband’s, where Patrick was smirking back at him. “Yes, thank you. My skin might never recover. And goodness knows your skin wouldn’t. I can’t believe you’ve only got three steps in your skincare routine, Patrick!”

“Well, that’s three more than I used to have, so I feel like I’m doing pretty well.”

“Ugh, fine. Yes, no tape gags, thank you very much.”

“What’s the point of a gag, anyway? Is it just the no talking part?”

David could already see where this was going. “I mean. Kind of? It’s the visual of it, _and_ the not being able to speak part of it.”

“Right, so, like, my mouthguard would be an effective gag, then?”

David knew his troll of a husband was going to say that, but he was still shocked Patrick actually had. “God, you’re infuriating,” David said, leaning over to kiss Patrick fiercely.

“You love it,” Patrick answered, digging a finger into a hickey he had given David the night before, eliciting a groan from him.

“God only knows why,” David joked, looking up at the ceiling. “You want me to fuck you while you wear your mouthguard, don’t you?” he asked with a sigh.

Patrick just grinned, showing off those gorgeous teeth. “Not if it would be a hardship for you,” he qualified.

“Do _not_ make a pun using the word ‘hard.” I will divorce you.”

“No you won’t. Besides, you’re the one who did that first,” he reminded David, harkening back to the opening of Rose Apothecary, which was first soft, then semi-hard, and then, of course, very, _very_ hard.

“That was an accident!”

“I don’t care. It gives me license to make any and all sex puns in perpetuity,” Patrick said. “It’s in the contract.”

David glared at him.

“And anyway,” Patrick said, slinking over to sit across David’s lap, “you seem hard enough to me.”

David groaned, half in response to the horrible pun, and half because the friction of Patrick on his cock was _infuckingcredible._

David sighed. “Fine,” he said begrudgingly, though if he was being honest, he didn’t ever mid trying something new with Patrick. Whether it was silly or serious or _extremely_ sexy, he wanted it with Patrick.

Patrick stepped off him, moving over to the bed, where he reached into his nightstand drawer and pulled out his clean mouthguard, sanitized and replaced in its spot every morning. He popped it into his mouth and used his tongue to situate it over his teeth, then placed himself onto the bed in what was supposed to look like a very sexy ‘come hither’ pose. When Patrick spoke, mouthguard giving his words a lispy, broad quality, David fell a little more in love with him.

“You going to fuck me, David?” Patrick asked, and it was easily the least sexy thing David had ever heard. And yet, he had never wanted anyone else more than he wanted Patrick, now and always.

“Yeah, Patrick,” David said, coming over. “I’m going to fuck you.” He could already tell that this was going to be one of their laughter-filled fucks. How could it not be, with that face staring back at him, teeth hidden behind that thick plastic shield that turned his husband into a total dork.

“Good, becauth wearing this mouthguard just really turnth me on, David,” Patrick said.

“Okay, first of all, aesthetically this is just… wow. And second, the point of a gag is that you don’t—well—can’t talk, so maybe you should be quiet now, huh?”

Patrick, the little shit, just grinned back at him. Oh, God, was he going to get turned on by Patrick’s mouthguard now? _That_ was unacceptable.

“I don’t know, David, I kind of like the idea of making you listen to my lithpy voice while you fuck me.”

“Okay, that’s like a whole other kink. We’re not doing that.”

“Really, cuth it kind of seemth like we are.”

“Oh my God, Patrick, shut up.”


	16. Shower Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

David stood under the hot spray, his head right in the flow of water, rinsing his hair so much it flopped down and spread across his forehead. He heard a movement and turned to take in the sight of his husband, who was equally naked and looking very sleepy. “Mind if I join you?” he asked.

David smiled, reaching out a wet hand to grab Patrick and pull him inside. “Please do. After all, we haven’t tested out whether this shower works for two people yet.” They’d only been in the house a couple of days. Some boxes were still packed up and very much in the way of David’s vision for their space. But it was true, they hadn’t tested out the shower _together_ yet.

It was a very nice shower, updated recently enough so it had nice tile and good fixtures and _excellent_ shower pressure, which, to be fair, was not hard to achieve in comparison to the water pressure at the motel or even at Patrick’s apartment. If the cottage had nothing else going for it, which, of course, it had in spades, this shower would still have been a huge step up.

“C’mere,” Patrick said dozily, having done the majority of the lifting and assembling and moving the last few days. It had really taken a toll on him. David went to him, his warm, wet body pressing against Patrick’s, still warm from their bed. “Mmm,” Patrick hummed as David’s larger frame embraced him.

“Let’s get you washed up, husband,” David said, pulling Patrick backwards into the spray with him. David watched carefully to make sure Patrick was awake enough to turn his face down away from the water. He was. He nuzzled into David’s chest hair, letting his head get soaked as David stroked his back, the hot water running over his sore, tired muscles.

“Feels good,” Patrick murmured.

“You’re sore, huh?” David asked, being more purposeful with his touches to carefully loosen Patrick up.

Patrick groaned into his chest in response. “Here, honey, let me take care of you.” David turned them around and then leaned slightly away from Patrick to pump some shampoo into his hand, rubbing it between his hands and then lathering up Patrick’s hair while he leaned into David just out of the water. “Tip your head back, now,” David instructed gently, watching as the hot water washed the shampoo out of Patrick’s short hair.

He really hoped he might be able to convince Patrick to grow it out at some point. They both really enjoyed David’s longer hair, especially when Patrick tugged on it when they were having sex, and David wanted to be able to do the same. But for now, it was still that short cropped auburn hair he had fallen in love with, and that was good too.

David stroked a few fingers through Patrick’s hair while he held his head under the shower spray, making sure all the shampoo was rinsed out, before reaching over again to get some conditioner and repeat his earlier motions, massaging it into Patrick’s hair, scratching his fingers on his scalp, tenderly fingering the base of his neck to make sure every bit of Patrick’s hair was conditioned.

He pulled Patrick out of the spray entirely now, noting that Patrick had his eyes completely closed, like he was about to fall back asleep. But when David paused, Patrick opened his eyes to see what was happening, and saw David considering him. “I’m sorry you’re so tired,” David said, feeling a little sorry he didn’t help out more.

“It’s okay, baby. You’re taking such good care of me. Love you,” he murmured, eyes closing again.

“I’m going to wash you now, okay?” David asked.

Patrick hummed a yes in response, so David reached over for the body wash in David’s favorite fragrance from Rose Apothecary and lathered it up in his hands. They wandered over Patrick’s chest and shoulders, under his arms, with David gently manipulating his limbs for easier access.

David replenished the body wash, leaning down once he was assured that Patrick would hold himself up, and stroking up and down his husband’s thick thighs, getting first one foot, then the other, and then rinsing off his hands under the spray before he knelt down to take Patrick’s cock into his mouth.

Patrick’s groan of surprise as David’s warm mouth surrounded his half-hard cock turned to a moan of pleasure quickly. The heat of the spray on his back and David’s tongue and hand working him deftly made Patrick feel like he was floating.

David continued his ministrations, working a hand up and down Patrick’s now very-hard cock, letting his mouth focus on the head. “You’re so good to me,” Patrick said, his words fading under the sound of the shower spray.

“You’re the one who did all the hard work the last couple of days,” David reminded him, pulling off Patrick’s cock before returning with increased vigor.

“Fuck,” Patrick whispered, body slightly unstable. “David, I’m gonna—”

Patrick’s exhausted body seemed unable to resist his orgasm, the climax washing over him like the shower spray. He gasped and huffed as David gentled him through it, reaching out a hand to stabilize himself against the tile wall of the shower.

David swallowed and stood up, watching as Patrick’s body drooped in exhaustion. He quickly washed Patrick’s softening cock and balls, getting in between his legs, and then gently tipped his husband’s head back just enough to rinse the conditioner out. He moved Patrick’s body under the spray, ensuring every bit of body wash was clear before he leaned in to kiss his new husband.

“Come on, let’s get you back to bed,” David said, tugging him out of the shower and into a very fluffy monogrammed towel. (Thanks to Stevie’s engagement present.)

“Need to unpack more,” Patrick protested half-heartedly, allowing himself to be efficiently dried off and led back to their bedroom, where their slightly-damp bodies curled up together instinctively.


	17. Breath Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't use this as a guide for breath play, with which I have no experience and on which I am definitely not an authority.

“Didn’t he die of… what’s that thing called again? The one where you get choked while you’re having sex?” Patrick sounded curious, and more interested than someone who was vaguely commenting on a celebrity’s life.

“Oh, autoerotic asphyxiation,” David didn’t even look over as he answered, focusing on his task at hand.

“Yeah, that. He’s the one that died of that, right?”

“I think so? But it’s not actually dangerous if it’s done properly. There’s ways for it to be safe.”

“You’ve done it before, I take it?” Patrick raised an eyebrow.

David stopped what he was doing, turned around to look at his husband, and inclined his head. “Not exactly,” David clarified. “Autoerotic asphyxiation is when you do it to yourself. Like, when you’re masturbating, usually. I’ve never done that. But breath play, where you’d have a partner choke you to enhance an orgasm, I’ve done that, yes.”

Patrick didn’t say anything, but the look in his eyes told David he wanted him to continue.

“I really like it – the lightheadedness, it’s like getting high without a drug. I like—or at least I think I liked—the dizziness, the looseness of it all, the fuzziness of the world in that moment. It was really powerful.”

“That’s a lot of trust in someone, too,” Patrick observed, his heart a little heavy. “Not just trust that they would let go when you needed them to, but that if something went wrong they’d be able to fix it, to do CPR or whatever.”

David smiled at him, voice a little too nonchalant. “Right. And in retrospect, I did that with some people that I probably shouldn’t have trusted. I did really enjoy it, but it’s kind of out there, and I’m not like holding my breath waiting to introduce it to our sex life,” David said.

“Not holding your breath?” Patrick asked, cracking a smile and immediately breaking the tension that had developed as the tone of their conversation shifted.

“Ugh. You’re such a troll! You know what I mean,” David rolled his eyes and turning his attention back to his task—cleaning his jewelry.

“Well, if there’s anyone I’d ever trust to do that with me, David, it would be you,” Patrick said, shifting right back to earnest on a dime.

“You want to choke me?” David asked, both his eyebrow and voice raised in surprised inquiry.

“Um, no,” Patrick said, rubbing a hand on the back of his neck back and forth, the scratch of skin on skin loud in the sudden silence.

“Actually, I was thinking you might choke me,” Patrick suggested. “I want to know what it’s like.”

“You don’t need a reason, honey,” David soothed him, knowing that he also couldn’t voice the impulse behind a few of _his_ kinks.

“Could we do it now? Before I lose my nerve to try it?” Patrick looked at his husband, so trusting. He could ask for something like this, and no matter the answer, he wouldn’t be judged for it.

“I don’t know. This seems like one of those things where we should talk about it, for like a long time, before we actually do it.”

“If it helps, I’ve been thinking about it a while.”

“Yeah?” David asked, moving in to run his hands over Patrick’s shoulders. “How long of a while?”

“Since we played Never Have I Ever,” he replied calmly.

“That long?”

“We talked about a lot of things that night, but that one didn’t really come up and—”

“Okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, okay, if you’ve been thinking about it that long and you really want to try it, then sure.”

“Can we… how should I tell you when to let up?” Patrick asked, although he had done plenty of research on the subject.

“Come here,” David beckoned. “Lay down.”

Patrick did, and David climbed into bed at his side. “Now what?”

“Okay, I’m just going to touch you a little bit first, while we talk, okay?”

Patrick nodded, and David reached into his pants and gently started working his cock.

“So why don’t we just start out really small, okay, and if you like that then some other time we can try again and do more. But this way it won’t be so much all at once.”

“Like what?” Patrick asked, thrusting up against David’s hand as it stroked him.

“Put your hand on my leg, here,” David asked, then helped adjust Patrick’s hand so it was resting palm down on his thigh. “Good. Okay, so if you drop your hand from my leg, I’ll stop whatever I’m doing right away.”

“I just drop my hand?”

“Yeah, drop your hand. If you squeeze or clench, or anything else, I’ll keep going, but the second you let your hand drop, it will all stop and you can breathe.”

“And how do I know when I need it to stop?”

“If you see stars, drop your hand. If you feel like you’re going to pass out, drop your hand. If you don’t like it, drop your hand.”

“Okay,” Patrick said. “What are you going to do?”

“To start, I’m just going to cover your nose and mouth, okay? No pressure on your throat. And I’m going to jack you off while I’m doing that, and when you are ready you just drop your hand and you’ll be able to breathe again.”

“I’m ready,” Patrick said, tilting his head back as he arched up into David’s hand.

“Okay, honey. Hand off my leg to make it stop,” David reminded him, then reached up with his other hand and squeezed Patrick’s nostrils shut, cupping the rest of his hand firmly over his mouth. He moved his hand faster, squeezing and stroking the way he knew Patrick liked. After about a minute, Patrick let his hand fall from David’s leg.

Immediately, David removed his hand, and Patrick took in a desperate gasp of breath, his eyes wide and watering. David stilled his other hand and waited.

“How do you feel?”


	18. Biting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

“Fuck, David, what did I say about hickeys?”

“It’s below the collar, I promise.”

“Unff, okay,” Patrick groaned. “Continue.”

David leaned back down, sucking a hickey into Patrick’s collarbone as they ground against each other. “At least I get to give you full hickeys now,” David whispered into his skin, laughing as he remembered there was once a time where they didn’t have all the alone time together they could want, like they did now.

“Not that again,” Patrick groaned, leaning up into David’s touch as his body responded instinctively. “Mmm, harder!”

David had already worked a lot of blood to the surface of Patrick’s still incredible pale-in-comparison skin, but then he bit down, his teeth bruising the area even more as he pulled Patrick closer to him, fingers digging into his husband’s ass.

“God, that’s so good,” Patrick whimpered as David abandoned the hickey he had just created to bite at Patrick’s nipple through his tee shirt. “More, please, more.”

Patrick gasped as David’s teeth bit down again, his other nipple tweaked between David’s fingers, sore and sensitive and hurting so good. “Off,” David ordered, tugging Patrick’s shirt over his head and tossing it to the side of their bed. “Want to mark you up,” he said.

“You just want Jake to know I’m yours,” Patrick teased. “He already knows that, but I don’t mind if you want to prove it to him again.”

“Good,” David said off-handedly, reaching a hand out to feel Patrick’s chest, to caress his bare skin, flitting his fingers softly over it before he leaned in to replace his fingers with his mouth. While he worked at bringing up another hickey—or maybe this one would be a half-hickey—Patrick reached between the two of them, bringing David’s cock out of his sleep pants and jerking it with his hand.

“You’re not wrong, you know,” Patrick continued, though his words came out more stilted and ragged as his arousal clouded everything.

“What?” David asked.

“I _am_ yours,” Patrick replied easily.

“Hmm,” David hummed, leaning in to nip at Patrick’s mouth, kissing him roughly. “I know that.”

“But you know what else?” Patrick pushed back, taking control of the kiss and of their bodies. David had a broader frame, and could use it against him when he wanted to, but Patrick was the athletic one of the two and could get David’s body to do what he wanted pretty easily.

“Umph,” David landed on his back as Patrick’s weight settling on top of him. “What else?”

“You’re mine too,” Patrick announced, leaning in himself to take one of David’s nipples into his mouth. He laved it with his tongue, nibbling gently as he knew David enjoyed. Scratching his well-manicured nails down David’s chest, Patrick pressed his groin against David’s.

David whined, his own arousal taking over.

“You gonna let me make some marks of my own, then?” Patrick asked. “Can’t have Jake getting confused,” he continued the pretense.

“Fuck, yeah, mark me up,” David begged. “Where I can hide it, please,” he added unnecessarily. Of the two of them, more of David’s skin was always covered than Patrick’s, and they had long ago established appropriate boundaries surrounding public displays of affection.

“Of course, baby,” Patrick said, digging his nail into a bruise that was fading after a week or so. David groaned, his whole body gravitating further into Patrick’s grip. “You know I’ll give you what you want.”

“God, Patrick, please.” David’s skin was flushed with desire, and the spot where Patrick had just been focusing his attention was swollen and welted red, a bruise forming immediately and sensitizing the whole area.

“Mmm,” Patrick hummed, pulling back to run his fingers lightly over the wound he had just made, David hissing in pleasure-pain at the sensation. “God, look at you like this, you’re so gorgeous.”

“Yours,” David repeated from what Patrick had said earlier, before his words became unintelligible and Patrick’s mouth simply made him moan in pleasure. Patrick’s teeth bit and nipped at his skin, sucking and licking to soothe the skin as he made a path down David’s broad chest. Then Patrick bit a little too hard, got a little to into it and forgot himself.

“Fuck,” Patrick pulled away quickly, and David jerked as his body realized what it was feeling. “Sorry, sorry.”

“It’s okay, Patrick,” David held him close to keep him from pulling away completely. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine! I broke the skin. Now your gorgeous chest is going to have a scar on it and—”

“No it won’t, calm down. I liked that a lot, don’t worry. It was just… unexpected,” David conceded, remembering the sting and how he had flinched, almost making it worse. But it hurt in a good way, and although he was now going to have to be careful when he put his undershirts on until it healed, David was somewhat intrigued by the droplet of blood welling up at the wound site.

“I feel so embarrassed,” Patrick admitted, putting his head down and rubbing a hand across the back of his neck.

“Don’t be. Seriously. I kind of… would you, maybe, do that again?” David asked, his courage returning with his arousal. “I almost came when you bit me that hard and I think I might if you do it again.”

“Seriously?” Patrick asked, eyebrow raised in shock. He thought he had done something horribly wrong and instead they might have discovered another kink to explore between them. “Okay, yeah.”

Patrick bent down again, licking at David’s treasure trail as his fingers wound their way into his chest hair—the chest hair that he had convinced David to keep even though he now had the disposable income to resume waxing it regularly.

He bit down, hard, into the skin on David’s abdomen, muscles clenching against Patrick’s teeth, and just like that David was coming. Patrick moved up to kiss him, before realizing something and sighing resignedly. “There’s come in my hair, isn’t there?”


	19. Fisting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

“I think I’m ready,” Patrick said out of nowhere.

“For dessert? Because, yes, I am also prepared to eat that whole pie.”

“No, David, although now that I think of it, I’m not sure which one would win out between food and sex.”

“What sex? What are you talking about?”

“I’m trying to tell you, I’m ready to do something new,” Patrick repeated.

“Something in general?” David asked, “Or something _specific_?”

“I was thinking maybe you could fist me tonight,” Patrick suggested. “Or at least, try to. I—”

“Sure.”

“Yeah?” Patrick asked, smile quirking his mouth up a tick.

“Absolutely. God, Patrick, I want to put my hand inside of you. I want you to like it. I hope you like it. It’s okay if you don’t.”

“I know,” Patrick said. “The way you look when you have my whole hand inside of you is just so… I want to see what that feels like.”

“I want to do that with you too,” David said, stroking Patrick’s shoulders lovingly.

“More than you want pie?” Patrick asked, and to his credit, David’s face didn’t waver for more than a millisecond.

“ _Of course_ more than I want pie,” David insisted, his voice going up a bit in defensiveness.

“Because it’s only pumpkin?” Patrick asked, knowing his husband better than that.

David sighed. “If it were pecan, you might have me,” he admitted. “But against pumpkin, yes, you’re definitely the winner.”

“Great. So will you fist me now?”

David was quiet.

“You want pie first now, don’t you?”

“Just a piece,” David conceded. “You have to go wash up anyway, don’t you?”

“No, David,” Patrick informed him, sighing. “I came down here prepared. _Very prepared_.” So prepared he was wearing one of their larger butt plugs to get the ball rolling, so to speak.

“Oh,” David said, realizing exactly what Patrick meant. “ _Oh_. Okay. Um, I don’t want pie anymore.”

“Are you sure, David? Because it seemed like what you really wanted was to have a nice slice of pecan pie. I think maybe you should stay down here and have some while I go upstairs and get started.”

“No!” David protested. “No, no pie for me. Let’s go, I’m ready now,” David knew Patrick was teasing, but really, he should have jumped at the opportunity to fist his husband, pie be damned. He ushered Patrick up the stairs unable to keep his eyes off his husband’s ass, as though he could see the plug through his pants. But he could imagine it.

“Fuck, Patrick,” he exclaimed when Patrick finally had his pants off and his ass bared. “God, I wish you could see yourself like this.”

“Nah, I’m okay,” he said, wincing and shaking his head. David had told him horror stories about the mirror in the love room, and he and Rachel had even tried filming themselves once and _that_ had been a complete disaster. Any romantic notions he might have had about what he looked like in the throes of passion were absolutely, completely destroyed.

“Come here,” David beckoned, helping him onto his back. He pulled the bottle of silicone lube out from the nightstand where it lived and set it on the bed close at hand.

“Okay,” David said. “This is all going to be really slow. You just tell me how you’re feeling as you’re feeling it, okay?”

“I trust you, David,” Patrick said, looking up at his husband who was suddenly all business.

“I know. And I’m trusting you to _tell me what you feel_ , okay?”

“Okay,” Patrick agreed. “I promise.”

David nodded, gently removing the plug from Patrick’s ass and watching as his muscles clenched and released around it. He set it down on the sheet and pumped a ton of lube into his hand. After spreading the lube liberally, David’s fingers entered him, just two at first, and Patrick lost his train of thought, spouting gibberish under his breath.

“What was that?” David asked, smiling knowingly.

“So good,” Patrick ground out. “More, please,” Patrick asked. David added a third finger, which Patrick took easily, needing only a few strokes to adjust to the new size.

“How long have you been wearing that plug?” David asked, realizing how loose Patrick was.

“A while,” Patrick answered vaguely. “Since I got home from the store.”

“Patrick Brewer, you left work _early_ and made me close so you could come home and put in a butt plug?!”

“Um, yes?”

“God, I love you so much,” David replied unexpectedly, not berating his husband as it had seemed he might. “You want another one?”

“Yeah, yes. I can take four,” Patrick said, a bit aspirationally.

“I bet you can, honey, look at you.” David got more lube and carefully inserted his pinky alongside the rest of his fingers. Patrick’s hole gaped at the width of David’s hand, but more lube eased the way.

“How does it feel?” David asked him, and Patrick’s eyes clenched shut, like he was focusing on the sensations, blocking everything but David’s hand out. This was as much as Patrick had had in his ass before, though there were a few dildos that were pretty thick.

“Full,” Patrick admitted. “It’s a lot.” It took a few more minutes of David preparing him, working his fingers this way and that, before Patrick nodded and David carefully pulled his hand out to replenish the lube.

He made a duck shape with his fingers, pressed gently against Patrick’s hole, and then slide home painfully slowly, working his joints to minimize the size of his hand. Patrick moved against him, uneasy, feeling unable to get comfortable, and David stopped. He just let his hand _be_ inside Patrick. His whole hand.

And then, after a minute, David stroked the spot he knew would made Patrick cry out without fail. “There it is,” David said, smiling in vindication, and gently balled his hand into a fist, working it back and forth inside Patrick as he keened, his speech a decadent stream of consciousness.


	20. Grooming/Shaving

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: M

“Just let me help you!”

“I can do it,” David insisted, his left hand pitifully holding the razor to his face.

“You’re going to cut yourself,” Patrick warned. “Let me do it. I want to do it.”

David sighed, looking down at his sprained wrist. “Fine, okay,” he said resignedly.

“Up,” Patrick motioned, gesturing for David to sit on their bathroom counter to give Patrick an easier height to work with. David hopped onto the counter, spreading his legs to give Patrick room.

Patrick moved easily into David’s personal space, taking the razor from his husband’s non-dominant hand. “Shh,” Patrick soothed. “Just relax, and let me help. I know you could do it on your own, but I want to take care of you.”

It was the right thing to say, and David relaxed under Patrick’s touch, no longer fighting his own sense of helplessness. He’d only have to wear the brace for a couple of weeks, and Patrick certainly didn’t mind the scruffy look, but it had grown out too much for David’s sensibilities. “I look like Mutt Schitt!” he had exclaimed disconcertedly upon looking into the mirror that morning, spurring him into his unwise attempt to shave his own face with his left hand.

Patrick ran his fingers down David’s arm, then put his hand up on his collarbone to steady them both. He could move it to adjust David’s angle if need be.

“Stay still,” Patrick said, and touched the razor to David’s perfect skin, gently stroking it to slice away the unwanted hairs. He turned the faucet on briefly to rinse the razor of the hair and shaving cream, then turned it off again before returning to David’s face. He ran it down David’s cheek again, careful to avoid nicking him where his bone structure was more angular, and swept it away from his husband’s chin, repeating the same motion until the razor needed to be rinsed again.

“You’re really good at this,” David remarked as Patrick continued his practiced motions, easily adapted to his husband’s face instead of his own.

“I believe I was once told I have a steady hand,” Patrick said, smiling as he recalled putting eucalyptus under-eye serum on David when he had thought Alexis was pregnant.

“Well, whoever said that was correct,” David agreed, as Patrick rinsed the razor off again.

It was so intimate, this close connection between the two of them. It wasn’t sexual, just very sensual. They were so close together, so in each other’s personal spaces, and there wasn’t much that was more intimate in caring for another person’s body like this. Patrick smiled a little as he returned to his work, carefully adjusting the razor to avoid catching David’s lips or cupid’s bow.

David’s hand moved to Patrick’s torso, stroking up and down his side as Patrick worked. They were close and touching and it was just so comfortable, even though it was something new that they were doing together. Something they were trying out, brought about by necessity rather than desire.

Patrick tiled David’s head gently this way and that as he checked to make sure he had shaved all of his husband’s chin cleanly. When it appeared as though he had finished the job, Patrick reached into a drawer for a clean washcloth, running it under the hot water and squeezing it a bit, then took it into both hands, gently and deliberately cleaning the residue off of David’s face.

The hot towel was warm under his hands, and felt amazing on David’s skin, but it was more the way they looked into each other’s eyes that mattered in the moment. They didn’t often do this, just look at each other without speaking. And when they did, it was usually while they were having sex, or sometimes if they were communicating silently in the presence of other people. But it wasn’t often enough that they just really held each other close, looking into the other’s eyes. Just husbands enjoying each other’s physical presence.

Patrick wiped with a clean part of the towel, double-checking his handiwork, before setting it down and stroking his husband’s face to check for any straggling hairs. He had been thorough and detailed, so there were none. But the feeling of David’s smooth, soft skin under the pads of his fingers was a rush. He didn’t ever touch David’s just-shaven face, apparently, before all the product went on.

Patrick smiled as his finger grazed over David’s cheekbone, and David’s eyebrow raised in query. “Just looking at my husband,” Patrick assured him.

“So you are.”

“You’re so beautiful,” Patrick said, leaning in to kiss his cheek, his chin, his nose, and then finally his lips, their mouths gently opening for one another unconsciously.

“Mmm,” David hummed, leaning his forehead against Patrick’s. “If you insist,” he said, fishing for more compliments.

“I do,” Patrick said, placing his hands around David’s shoulders as the taller man settled his around Patrick’s waist, careful not to strain his injured wrist. “You’re gorgeous. I like watching you take care of yourself, but I didn’t know how much I’d enjoy helping you do it.”

David looked away as though the compliment was physically painful, turning back to Patrick when he took his chin in hand and kissed him soundly, pulling their bodies closer together, pressing them against each other.

“Did you get turned on from shaving me?” David asked, gasping as he felt Patrick’s erection press against him.

“I don’t know, David, did you get turned on from me shaving you?” Patrick retorted pointedly, remarking on David’s own cock jutting out against his joggers.

“Okay, well that’s…I just,” David sighed, giving up. “Yes, I think I did.”

Patrick grinned. “Good, me too.” He slid David down the countertop to be closer to his skincare products, catching his husband off guard.

“What are you doing?”

“Well I figured if that’s what shaving did to you, doing your skincare regimen for you is probably even better foreplay,” Patrick teased.


	21. Cross-Dressing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

Patrick looked at himself in the bedroom mirror, turning from side to side to assess the image of himself in David’s Thom Browne skirt. He had been taken aback at how amazing David looked at their wedding—well, he was often taken aback and how wonderful David looked every day—but the way David looked in that skirt suit was so far beyond anything he had expected. In comparison, Patrick’s suit was boring. Not to him, of course, but to anyone looking at them, David stood out.

Patrick stood up on his tip-toes, looking at how the skirt hit him slightly below his knees, the pleats longer by a few inches in back. He looked at himself, wondering what David felt like in this skirt that made him so confident wearing it. Everything David wore, he wore with purpose, and attitude. His clothes spoke for him in a way that Patrick’s didn’t. Or at least, he didn’t think they said much.

Patrick just felt out of place in this. It wasn’t _him_. Not just because it was a skirt, which, sure, he had played dress-up when he was younger, and when he was pledging a fraternity he had worn one for what was very clearly some heteronormative hazing event. But more because it didn’t feel like him. He wasn’t sure there was a skirt out there that _did_ feel like him, but if ever there was one, this wouldn’t be it. It was black and stiff and pleated and hi-low, and all the eccentricities and sophistication of it screamed _David_ to him. To everyone.

He took the skirt off carefully, hanging it back up exactly as he had found it, and then reached for another of David’s skirt-like bottoms. This one was navy blue, and he hadn’t ever seen David wear it. It didn’t really look so much like him, mostly because it didn’t fit into his all black-grey-white with a very occasional pop of color aesthetic. He pulled it out of their closet (well, the one in their bedroom) and hesitantly put it on, even the process of pulling a shirt up over his hips unfamiliar and strange.

He turned all the way around, this time, taking himself in from every angle. It didn’t look bad on him, especially with the pale blue button down he was still wearing from work today. It almost looked like half of a Patrick-style skirt suit, one that he might wear in another life.

“You look good,” David’s voice came from behind him, ringing clear and true. Patrick flinched, blushing immediately and wishing he could pretend his husband hadn’t just walked in on him trying on one of his skirts.

Patrick fidgeted uncomfortably under David’s patient, steady gaze. He looked back at his husband in the mirror, sighing and finally asking, “Really? Because I feel like a fucking fish out of water.”

David shrugged, shaking his head. “Well I think you look really good, but it doesn’t matter how I feel.”

“I tried on your wedding skirt first,” Patrick admitted, smoothing the navy blue skirt down using the mirror as a guide.

“Ah,” David said. “And what did you think?”

“It looks way better on you.”

“Obviously,” David responded immediately. “Not – no, that’s not what I meant. It’s tailored for me, for my height and proportions. It would look better on you if it were tailored for yours.”

“Right, that’s definitely why. And not because I just look ridiculous in a skirt.”

“I mean, I looked ridiculous in a skirt when I first started wearing them,” David told him, coming up behind Patrick to hug him as he looked at his husband in their mirror.

“What?” Patrick asked incredulously. “No way.”

“Well, no, I always looked fabulous. But I didn’t feel my best wearing skirts until I really started to own them as part of my look,” he qualified. “It feels weird on you because it _is_ weird. It’s not part of your normal wardrobe, or your identity.”

“Right,” Patrick agreed, “I should take this off.” He moved to unfasten the skirt and remove it, but David’s hands stopped him.

“No, wait,” David said. “There’s something I want to do first.” And then he dropped to his knees, putting his head under the front of Patrick’s skirt, resting his hands on his husband’s thick thighs to steady them both.

“David, what are you—” he dropped off, moan unintentionally escaping his mouth as David’s talented fingers and tongue worked at him. “Oh, God.”

“Just watch yourself,” David said, though it was a bit muffled from beneath the heavy fabric.

“I don’t know if this—” Again, Patrick’s voice cut out halfway through his thought. “Okay, yep, that’s working,” he said, head back and eyes squinted shut. When he opened them again, it was a bewitching sight awaiting him in the mirror. David’s head wasn’t visible under the skirt, but that sight combined with what Patrick _felt_ him doing was a rush.

“Fuck, David, that’s so good,” Patrick moaned. “More, please.”

David took him further into his throat, allowing Patrick’s cock to fill him as much as possible, and Patrick could barely stay still as his husband’s _incredibly talented_ mouth took him apart bit by bit. David’s head bunched up the fabric of the skirt and it might have otherwise looked silly or stupid, but Patrick was so turned on it really didn’t matter.

When he came, David held him steady and drank down every bit of come Patrick had to give him, then tucked his softening cock gently back into his boxer briefs before smoothing out the folds of the skirt so every thread was in place, as though nothing obscene had just happened beneath them. And when Patrick looked at them both in the mirror, he asked David, “How come I haven’t ever seen you wear this skirt?”

David offered him a nonchalant look, and said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, “Oh, because I got this for you.”


	22. Masturbation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

David was in the back room, pants down slightly and head against the arm resting on the wall to steady himself. He pulled and stroked at his cock with his hand, groaning into his sweater as he imagined Patrick there jerking him.

_Patrick was behind him, holding his cock deftly in his strong fingers, the paleness of his skin stark against the swollen red of David’s erection. His fingers knew his way around David’s body so well by now that they scarcely needed to speak for Patrick to know what David wanted. David could feel Patrick’s breath on his neck, Patrick’s chin nestled into his shoulder blade, the shorter man leveraging their height difference to fold David into his body, enveloping him in a secure embrace._

_David’s heartbeat thrummed under his sweater, Patrick’s other hand steady on his chest, his fingers digging into the merino wool in a way that made David crazy, but he was so desperate for Patrick’s hand to continue, to keep jerking him off, to make him explode under his talented fingers, that he couldn’t bring himself to say anything. Patrick’s tongue licked out at David’s earlobe, then whispered dirty things in his ear – “Such a needy boy, David. So desperate for me. Look how much you want me. Feel how much I want you.” Patrick ground into him from behind, their bodies melded together, their clothes barely separating them._

_David’s words were incomprehensible, moans and whimpers and half-spoken curses. He could just stand there and take it as Patrick drove him wild, took him right up to the edge and decided whether to let David go over it. He was mad with want and need, desperate for every touch of his husband’s fingers on his cock, the spit-lubricant on Patrick’s hand not nearly enough. The pain of it increased his pleasure, made it want it all to be over soon, now, please, but it kept on and on, no end in sight. Patrick’s hands were sure and practiced, working David exactly how he wanted, manipulating his flesh to drive David to the point of no return._

David replenished the lube on his hand, thankful that they had gotten in a new sample of a local organic personal lubricant to consider selling at the store. It was better that he leave the reality of under-lubricated hand-jobs to his fantasy, as David preferred to employ such luxuries as actual lube when he was alone and in charge. He returned to his cock, re-situating himself in the fantasy he was using to get himself off. 

_Patrick pressed into him harder, his spare hand gently circling David’s nipple through the soft wool of his sweater, a counterpoint to the vigor of his other hand’s movements and of his groin grinding into David’s ass. “How much do you want it, huh, David? How desperate are you to come? Will you beg me to let you? Beg me to take pity on your sad, swollen cock?” David whined in response, his words barely coming out, “Please,” “yes,” “Need you.”_

“What’s this?” a voice asked behind him, and David snapped out of his fantasy, hand dropping from his cock immediately and turning to hide his erection from the doorway. But it was just Patrick. Patrick, who was back early from his three-day conference. Patrick, who had unlocked the door and come into the back room without David hearing a peep. Patrick, whose face looked predatory and cunning in a way David rarely saw him appear.

“Tell me what you were imagining,” Patrick said, more of an order than a request.

David took a deep breath, reminding himself that he was allowed to masturbate. Sure, the store wasn’t ideal, but the door had been locked and this wasn’t like one of those times when Alexis had opened the motel room on him unexpectedly, or when Adelina had caught him in his room when he was younger. This was his husband, and he didn’t need to feel ashamed.

David’s voice cracked as he told Patrick, “You were here, behind me, jerking me off, pressing me up against the wall.”

“Hmm,” Patrick nodded, setting down his keys on the desk and moving over to where David was leaning. He pressed himself up against David’s back as his husband had described, pulling him close with one hand and using the other to stroke David’s side. “Go ahead,” he told David.

“You’re not going to—” David broke off, and Patrick kissed the back of his neck. David felt Patrick shake his head against David’s shoulder.

“Nope,” Patrick said, running his fingers up David’s ribcage, caressing his side gently. “I’m just going to stand here with you, while you get yourself off.”

“Fuck,” David exclaimed, gripping his cock around the base to stop himself from coming. “Okay, okay,” he whispered, breathing in deeply before continuing his motions.

“Want me to talk to you?” Patrick asked, the whisper of breath in David’s ear making him shiver.

“Fuck yes,” David whined. “Please.”

“Alright then,” Patrick agreed. “Let me tell you about last night after we got off the phone how I was so turned on that I fucked the mattress in the hotel thinking of you. How I couldn’t bear to be away from you for another day so I skipped the last day of the conference and sped back to Schitt’s Creek to see you. How the sight of you jerking yourself off at lunchtime in the back room of _our store_ tells me you’re as desperate as I was last night.”

David groaned against the wall, his motions picking up as he got closer and closer to his orgasm. He _couldn’t_ wait until they closed this evening, needed so desperately to come before then, thinking of his husband he missed and what he might do with him when they were back together.

“Need you,” David moaned out.

“It kind of seems like you didn’t need me, actually,” Patrick joked. “So I think you should probably finish this yourself.”


	23. Rimming

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

“I still don’t know why you would put yourself through that,” Patrick said, shaking his head.

“Please, that was nothing. I used to have bimonthly appointments to wax every inch of my body, not to mention bleaching my asshole.”

“Yeah, and I still don’t understand why. I love your hair, David.”

“I know, and lacking the disposable income to maintain my previous hygiene standards hasn’t actually been as horrible as I imagined, but sometimes it’s still nice to treat myself every once in a while.”

“And it’s your body, so of course I support you doing whatever you want with it. I just don’t understand how that’s a ‘treat.’” Patrick said, wincing. Watching David’s public hair be mercilessly waxed from his body was vicariously painful… he didn’t know how David had managed to do that regularly in his old life.

“It’ll be a treat for me later,” David assured him, though Patrick was still doubtful.

Later, when dinner was cleaned up and David had settled into bed with a glass of wine, Patrick followed him in for a good cuddle. “What are you up for tonight?” Patrick asked, knowing David’s hole was probably sore and not expecting him to be in the mood for anything involving that this evening.

“Mmm,” David grinned, swirling his wine and drinking the rest of it down before setting the empty class on his nightstand and turning his gaze back to his husband. “I was really hoping you would rim me tonight,” he revealed, lips scrunched up in a hopeful side smile.

“No way, you have to be way too sore for that,” Patrick said, wincing.

“Okay, you’ve never done this, so you don’t know, but not only is everything super clean and tidy down there after a wax, but it’s also super sensitive in like the best way.”

“Are you sure?” Patrick asked, still doubting this was a viable direction for their evening to take.

“Fuck yes, it will feel so good Patrick.”

“Tell me, I want to hear everything,” Patrick demanded, finally getting on board with this plan. “How do you want to be?” he asked, tilting his head as he considered their possible positions.

“Hmm,” David considered, as though he hadn’t planned out this evening in advance to a tee. “I think I want to be on all fours tonight,” David said, his tone turning sultry. “I might be clean, but I’ll feel filthy and vulnerable up and spread open for you like that.”

“Fuck. Okay. Yeah, okay, let’s do that,” Patrick said, his heart beating fast and his cock already hardening in response to David’s words and the image they created in his mind.

David tugged off his sleep shirt, tossing it to the clothes chair along with his joggers, leaving his boxer briefs on for Patrick to remove himself. Patrick more easily pulled his tee-shirt off, tugging down his own boxer shorts and allowing his half-hard cock to hang free and loose. David caught his eyes as he ran a hand down to grab at his husband’s cock, making Patrick groan in pleasure at the touch.

David let go and turned away from Patrick, positioning himself on all fours, ass in the air. He pulled a pillow from the head of the bed toward him, using it to bolster his hands, and then turned to look at Patrick expectantly.

“Someone’s excited,” Patrick remarked jokingly, before leaning in and peeling David’s black boxer briefs off him one leg at a time, revealing David’s perfect ass to him bit by bit. He stroked David’s smooth skin—god, he really did moisturize _everywhere_ —and then used his thumbs to spread apart David’s ass cheeks, revealing a perfectly pink, hairless rosette that was begging for his tongue.

“Fuck, David, you look so good,” Patrick exclaimed, although he always liked the way David looked. Patrick took a closer look at the gift David had given himself. Every bit of hair had been removed from his ass, the scraggly ones that grew up in the cleft between his cheeks, the small soft ones that pervaded his asshole, the shadowy fuzz that grew all over his skin… all gone. In its place, slightly pinker skin than usual, skin that Patrick wanted to touch oh so gently, to see how David might respond to these new sensations.

Patrick closed his mouth slightly, blowing cool air directly onto David’s hole, then swaying his breath to hit his husband all over his sensitive places. David’s ass clenched deliciously in response, his skin shivering and his hole contracting as the cool air hit it. “Mmm, yes,” David cried out. “So sensitive, Patrick, more!”

Patrick’s uncertainty began to melt away as David’s enthusiastic response to even the smallest of stimuli encouraged him to try more things. He ran a gentle finger down David’s cleft, the barest hint of a touch skimming the surface of David’s pinkened skin. “Tell me,” Patrick prodded him as a reminder. “Tell me how it feels.”

“Like tickling, but not. It’s like my skin can feel you even when you aren’t touching it. Like a ghost of a touch,” David said, whining and pushing his ass into Patrick’s grasp as another touch gently pressed into his perineum. “Fuck, that feels good.”

“You want me to tease you some more, then?” Patrick asked rhetorically, not looking for an answer. He was going to do it regardless. His tongue flicked out, a hint of saliva remaining where he had licked David at the juncture of his ass and thigh. It wasn’t a particularly erogenous zone, and he could taste the sweat there from David’s day. But it didn’t matter. David responded like it had been a lick straight to his cockhead, jerking and whining in pleasure.

“Fuck!” David cried out. “Please,” he begged, needing his husband to continue more than he had ever needed anything.

Patrick took pity on him, running his tongue around the rim of David’s hole, feeling the soft membranous flesh ripple and contract under his ministrations.


	24. Sex Pollen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated:E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Today's fic is brought to you by a prompt from [spiffymittens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spiffymittens/pseuds/spiffymittens): David and Patrick have edibles and pretend it’s sex pollen pizza

It was rare, but they did occasionally play more elaborate games, requiring suspension of disbelief as a buy-in for the night’s success. They had talked about this jokingly, the last few times they’d smoked, but there was enough prurient curiosity there on both of their parts to take it beyond a funny hypothetical into a very real play scenario.

Edibles ingested and pizza consumed (and at David’s request, they had gone to Elmdale for the good stuff), all they had to do was wait, reminding themselves to stay in the scene no matter how silly.

It was Patrick who committed more to it, being a natural actor himself. “Hey David,” he said after the pizza had begun to digest in his stomach, “I feel kind of…weird.”

David looked over at him, a begrudging expression of concern on his face. “Me too, actually. I wonder if it’s the pizza.” It sounded a little forced, even to him.

“Whatever it is,” Patrick said, tilting his head, “it’s making me feel…” he paused again, then looked up at David with a newly dreamy tinge to his eyes. He searched for the word he wanted, then decided to be a man of action instead, leaping at his husband with a wild neediness, gripping David loosely as he pulled them together, mashing their faces together in some semblance of a kiss as they both struggled to strip the other naked.

Patrick lapped at David’s mouth like he wanted to devour him, like Patrick was a starving man and David was a _fucking_ meal. Although he wasn’t quite stoned enough to have the munchies for his husband like Patrick seemed to be experiencing, David was on board. He kissed back, pulling and pushing at Patrick, straining against him in a battle for dominance.

The two rolled around on the bed, Patrick using some of his more athletic moves to bring David’s body to where he wanted him, positioning his husband so he could rut up against him, giving them both the friction they needed.

“God, I need you,” Patrick whined. “It’s like I can’t stop, I want you too much.”

“I think there was something in that pizza we ate,” David suggested, still not quite fully committed to the ruse.

“Whatever it was, I think it’s making us horny,” Patrick agreed, laughing as he thrust against David’s crotch, their cocks similarly hard.

“Maybe it will stop if we fuck,” David suggested, continuing to rut against Patrick as the fuzziness of the edible caught up to his brain.

“Mmm,” Patrick hummed, tilting his head back so David could lick at his earlobe, kissing down his neck but careful not to forget himself and give Patrick a hickey where it would be visible. “But I don’t want it to stop,” he said, shivering under David’s touch.

“I think that’s the pizza talking,” David whispered into his ear, reaching his other hand down to pump Patrick’s cock, his fingers urgent against Patrick’s body.

“Fuck me,” Patrick asked, his head limp as he sagged with desire against the bed. “Fuck me, David, make me feel good,” he demanded.

David took this in, his brain needing a few more moments than usual to process Patrick’s request. “Mmm, want to fuck you,” he said. “Need you.”

“Yes, good, fuck me,” Patrick encouraged, as David’s hands moved to Patrick’s thighs, spreading lube all over them and in-between, the last little bit coating his hard cock, red and swollen with desire, desperate for release.

David pulled Patrick up against him, kissing his way partially down Patrick’s spine before positioning himself between Patrick’s legs. “Clench,” David ordered, and Patrick’s body responded immediately, his muscles contracting, tightening to create a perfect space for David’s cock to fuck. It was smooth and slick with lube, just enough friction as he slid back and forth, fucking Patrick’s thighs with a desperate rhythm that made them both keen.

“I need—” Patrick broke off, reaching his hand down to stroke himself as David’s thrusts shoved his whole body forward. “Fuck, that’s so good. I need more. Harder, baby,” Patrick encouraged him, stroking himself in time with David’s movements, their bodies in sync even unintentionally. David’s larger frame held Patrick easily against him, his movements growing jerkier and less steady as he got closer to release.

Patrick groaned as he felt David start to come between his legs, the warm liquid spurting out and hitting Patrick’s balls from behind. It was enough to make Patrick come too, his body moving out of his control as his eyes clenched shut, hips thrusting wildly and come surging out onto his stomach. David held them together, hips moving together as they slowed to the end of their respective orgasms. David buried his nose and mouth in the back of Patrick’s head, gasping for air and taking in his particular scent.

“Fuck, that was so good,” Patrick groaned, his legs unclenching to allow David’s softening come-covered cock to slip between them.

“So messy,” David said, grimacing into Patrick’s back.

“I don’t care,” Patrick said, keeping up the pretense. “It’s not over, I still want you,” he said, turning over to face David.

“Me too,” David said, and it wasn’t even a lie. “This _sex pollen_ is really strong,” he joked.

“Not strong enough to get around a refractory period,” Patrick said, almost sadly, looking down at his cock.

“Hey,” David said, putting a hand on Patrick’s cheek to pull his gaze towards David’s. “There’s plenty we can do in the meantime, you know?” he asked. It sounded like a promise.

“Mmm, tell me more about this ‘in the meantime’ stuff,” Patrick suggested with a smile, laughing as David’s mouth found that spot on his neck that made him keen.

“I’m _so_ glad I agreed to this,” David said, smirking as he brought his mouth back to Patrick’s tongue finding its way into his mouth as his hands wandered their way down his husband’s loose, relaxed body, fingers stroking the places Patrick was most sensitive.


	25. Vibrator

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

David could tell that he was dealing with ultra-competitive Patrick. “I know that look,” David said, already a little concerned for his ass.

“You know your safeword, David. If it’s too much, you know I’ll stop.”

David smiled at his husband, leaning in. He _did_ know. He knew what it was like to doubt, rather than trust, the person you were having sex with. All of that was over now. He trusted Patrick with his whole heart, his body, his life. It was months into their marriage, years into their relationship, and David still had barriers to work on letting down, but every day with Patrick taught him it was safe to trust.

“Yeah, I do,” David said, stealing a kiss and then holding on to Patrick, wanting to be close to him a little longer.

Patrick sagged against him a little, recognizing the shift in tone. “Or we can do something else, if that’s not what you need right now,” he whispered, kissing David’s neck just below his ear.

David pulled away, getting himself back into the mood. “No, I want to do what we talked about,” David insisted. “I’m good now.”

“Okay,” Patrick agreed, willing to trust that David would say if he felt otherwise. “Then strip and get on the bed,” he told his husband.

David shivered, always appreciative of Patrick’s bossy moods, and moved to comply. He watched as Patrick situated some things on the nightstand and started taking his own clothes off.

Once David was on the bed on his back, Patrick reached over and started stroking him with a lubed palm, whispering into his neck in between open-mouthed kisses about what he was going do to David. David was helpless against Patrick’s skilled fingers working his cock just the way David liked.

“You ready for me to open you up?” Patrick asked, his fingers gently fondling David’s balls, the coarse hairs a contrast against his soft skin.

“Mmm,” David moaned out as he nodded, spreading his legs further for Patrick.

Patrick’s hands were absent a moment as he lubed his fingers up again, and David sank into the feeling of being this vulnerable, of laying here open for his husband, ready for whatever he might choose to do. When Patrick’s fingers returned, David whines as Patrick’s pressed gently on his perineum, the stimulation unexpected and _so good_. Patrick teased around his hole, his fingers just a flicker of sensation around his rim, the ring of muscles puckered and ready for his intrusion.

Patrick pressed in firmly on one edge of David’s asshole, allowing his finger to be sucked in, the lube easily his way. David groaned at the feeling, humming in pleasure as he felt Patrick’s finger stroke in and out, every nerve firing out waves of ecstasy. “Feels good?” Patrick asked, adding a second finger and alternating his pace and pressure.

“So good,” David affirmed, rolling his head to the side as his thighs cramped from being help aloft for so long.

“Need to switch positions,” Patrick suggested, seeing David’s discomfort. He nodded, turning onto his side and tucking his legs up, all without Patrick removing his fingers. Patrick continued his movements, stroking in, out, getting David antsy and riled up as he added a third finger to his husband’s ass.

“Fuck,” David breathed out, voice shaky. He reached down to grip his cock, holding himself tight at the base to stave off an already-impending orgasm.

“Here, baby, you ready for this?” Patrick held up the vibrator, specially curved to hit the prostate, and David could feel his mouth watering. He was well and truly fucked. Already close to coming, thanks to Patrick’s _insanely talented_ fingers. And now a prostate massager in the mix, oof. He was in for it. I mean, sure, he knew this was coming, but there was knowing it, and then there was _feeling it_ , in his bones, in every nerve and muscle from his ears down to his toes.

“Yeah,” David rasped out. “Fuck me, Patrick, please.”

“I’ve got you, baby,” Patrick said, gently lubing up the vibrator and easing it in, the bulbous tip slipping in easily as David’s loose hole clenched intermittently around it, and then the rest of the toy slipped in behind, all the way up to the flared base. Patrick worked it in, little by little, back and forth, up until it was fully seated inside David’s ass. Then he let go, watching as David’s ass clenched and held the toy in place. He turned his attention to David’s cock, broad fingers gripping it at the base like a makeshift cock ring.

“Mmm, look at this,” Patrick said, savoring the sight before him. “All mine.” He leaned down, putting his fingers over David’s as they gripped tightly at his cock, before sticking his tongue out and just lightly licking the head of David’s swollen cock. David let out a loud whine, and Patrick watched as the vibrator moved slightly in his ass as his muscles jerked and twitched. He dipped his head again, lapping at the pre-come dripping out as David held tighter, trying hard to stave off his orgasm.

As his mouth continued to tease David’s cock from the front, Patrick reached behind and switched on the vibrator, and it kicked to life, the loud buzzing sound immediately filling the room along with David’s _scream_ of pleasure, his body flailing and jerking around. Patrick held him in place, fingers guiding the vibrator as David continued to try and evade it, his whole body fighting the overwhelming pleasure, babbling and crying out unintelligibly.

Suddenly, there was a loud, urgent knock on the bedroom door. Patrick immediately turned the vibration off as David’s cock started to spurt all over his hands. The knocking stopped and Stevie’s loud voice replaced it. “I feel like you guys may have forgotten I let myself in to stay here tonight,” she announced. “Just figured I should tell you before I hear anything _else_ that might ruin our friendship!”


	26. Praise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

“What’s your color, David?” Patrick asked, strapping the last buckle into place.

“Green,” David said, loud and clear. Oh, he _really_ didn’t know what was coming to him.

Patrick smiled at the sight of his husband, strung up just for him, helpless to anything Patrick wanted to do _or say_ to him. And Patrick had a lot he wanted to say to David.

David looked up at him, expectantly. “Well?” He sounded exasperated. “Are you just going to let me lie here?”

“Maybe,” Patrick replied. “I just wanted to look at you, all trussed up for me like this. I love you so much, David,” he said, that very love shining out in his eyes.

“Love you too,” David said, squishing his face up like it was difficult to say, although by this point, he’d said it so many times it came easily to him. “Now get on with it,” he said.

“Okay, okay,” Patrick said, “I think the person who _isn’t_ shackled to the bed is going to be the one to decide when we start.”

David pouted, then gasped as Patrick bent his head to bite one of David’s nipples, a little harder than he did usually. “Ow, fuck!”

Patrick gave him a look, as if to say, _well, you asked for it._ “Hmm, okay,” he said, drawing circles around David’s nipples as he leaned in close to his ear, lowering his voice to a whisper. “Let’s start with this: David Rose, you are the most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen.”

David moaned, realizing what he was in for, and shifted under Patrick’s light touch.

“You’re so beautiful, inside and out,” Patrick said, running his finger down the center of David’s chest to dip inside his belly button. At the same time, Patrick licked into David’s ear, making him laugh. “You’re a good man, a _nice_ person when you want to be, and an amazing friend.”

“Oh, is that all?” David snapped.

“No, that is definitely not all,” Patrick said calmly, running his fingers down David’s sides, his whole torso shivering as Patrick stroked him gently. “You’re a caring brother and a wonderful husband and you are a huge asset to this town.”

“Okay, well, I –”

“No, David, you just lay there and take what I’m giving you,” Patrick reminded him. “Just let me tell you how wonderful you are. Don’t try to play it off as a joke, or contradict it with some sarcastic remark. Just accept that I think you’re amazing and I want you to know it.”

“Ugh, if I must,” David said, though of course this was all agreed upon beforehand. That didn’t stop him from acting salty about it, though.

“These restraints say you must,” Patrick confirmed solemnly. “Unless you want to use your safeword, of course. What’s your color?”

“Ugh, green,” David said, a begrudging grin on his face.

“Alright then. David Rose, you are the sexy and confident and funny,” he said, punctuating each adjective with a kiss to a different part of David’s body. First his nose, then his collarbone, then the inside of his elbow. Patrick’s whisper-light kisses feathered affection all over his husband’s body.

“Mmm,” David hummed, appreciating the kisses even though the trade-off was having to hear such nice things said about him. “Tell me more nice things about myself,” he asked. “If there are any,” he qualified, that last little bit of self-deprecation slipping through even now.

“Oh, there are _plenty_ ,” Patrick promised, whispering into David’s ear, “You’re the best lover I’ve ever had. Your cock, your mouth, your hands—you make me feel things I never dreamed I’d get to feel,” Patrick said, his voice low and sultry. It was true, and not just because David was a man and it turned out Patrick really only wanted to have sex with men, but because he was _David_.

“You’re so considerate, and generous, and creative,” Patrick continued, finally reaching down and taking David’s cock into his hands, gently working it between them oh so softly, letting his hands and his words tell David how much he loved him. “And I don’t just mean sexually. You run our store so well, and your business ideas are brilliant. You’re a natural at this, David, at knowing what people want – and more importantly, what they need, and you find ways to give it to them.”

Patrick’s fingers wandered to the juncture of David’s him, stroking him there as he continued to work his cock. “I’m so proud of you, as my partner and my husband and my friend, I’m so proud of all that you’ve done. You’re someone I feel lucky to be with, to spend my life with.”

David groaned and turned his head to smash his face into the pillow, which Patrick imagined was supposed to look like a response to him stroking David’s cock, but the tear that slipped out of David’s eye told him otherwise. “Color, David?”

“Green” came out, muffled from the pillow.

“You have amazing taste, and your clothes tell the world about you, and how you feel. You’re so brave, and you’ve found a way to thrive after some really rough patches in your life. You’re my favorite person, David, and I’m so lucky to get to spend the rest of my life with you,” Patrick finished, leaning down to take David’s cock into his mouth.

“Ungh,” David ground out. “Fuck, okay, yes, let’s keep that mouth busy so it doesn’t keep saying such embarrassing things.”

“You love this mouth,” Patrick told him, pulling off with a _pop_.

“Mmm,” David nodded, “I do.”

“Even when it’s telling you things you don’t want to hear,” Patrick said.

“ _Especially_ when it’s saying such nice things that I don’t deserve.”

“Ah, ah, ah,” Patrick tsked, completely removing his hands from David. “You know the rules.”

“Fine,” David agreed begrudgingly. “ _Especially when it’s saying such nice things about me. I’m a good person that deserves nice things.”_

“Now, was that so hard?” Patrick asked, grinning broadly.


	27. Orgasm Denial

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: M

“How are you doing?” David asked, grinning at his husband as he bent down to grab a scarf that had fallen from its hook.

Patrick blanched and flushed, his body a little rigid as he stood back up. “It’s getting tougher,” he admitted resignedly, competitive to a fault. “What about _you_?” he asked back, eyebrows raised.

“I’m a pro at this,” David boasted, popping his hip and leaning over the counter with a smirk.

“Oh, so you’re just great,” Patrick teased. “You’re not turned on _at all_ ,” he challenged.

“Nope,” David said. “Just another day at the store.” Patrick’s eyes narrowed, ready to press his advantage.

“I don’t believe you,” Patrick said, but then a customer came in and he turned into business mode Patrick immediately, moving to help her find an appropriate gift for her aunt.

David continued to adjust the items on the POS countertop. They had some new items in and although they could never replace the lip balms, David had ultimately agreed that giving them the best chance for success by keeping them near the cash register just made good business sense.

Patrick came back to the counter, casually moving behind David and pressing into him like it was an accident. It wasn’t.

Still, he continued into the back room, as though that was his point in the whole movement, and came back with a box of product to restock. When he passed David on the trip back, he again pressed into his husband against the counter, as though there simply wasn’t enough room for the two of them between the counter edge and the wall.

David turned towards him, leaning on his fist as he propped himself up on the counter. “Very subtle,” he said.

“What?” Patrick asked, innocent as anything.

“Oh, just your cheating,” David snarked, shaking his head and curling up his lip in a smirk.

“I didn’t cheat,” Patrick insisted. “Nothing in the rules said I can’t tease you.”

“Ugh. Fine,” David said. “But you’re going to regret that.”

Patrick made a show of considering it. “Nope, I don’t think so,” he said, returning his focus to the restocking, as unflustered as he could possibly look.

David groaned in frustration. “You are such a troll,” he accused him, returning to his own task as well to plot his revenge.

David got him back a few hours later, his desire for his husband already reaching a boiling point. They had decided on this plan together, but David didn’t think that Patrick would be riling him up like this. In hindsight, he should have known better. Patrick was competitive by nature, and a troll if ever there was one. The best David could do at this point was to give him a taste of his own medicine.

David’s plan went into action later that day, when he asked Patrick for help with unloading some boxes in the back room. David knew Patrick’s tells just as well as his husband knew his, and when David leaned over, allowing just the slightest bit of midriff to show, he heard Patrick’s breathing catch and knew he had him. David spent the next few minutes unloading boxes with excruciating slowness, exaggerating the curve of his ass when he bent over, groaning loudly when he got up off his knees after “dropping” the pen he was checking off inventory with. It was basically the David Rose equivalent of the “Bend and Snap,” and he knew how to move his body to drive Patrick wild.

“How’s that plug treating you now?” David asked with a raised eyebrow.

Patrick just glared at him.

They had his & his butt plugs in for the day, Part 2 of The Plan. Part 1 had started with the realization that they hadn’t had sex in a record 4 days, and then Patrick had said, “I bet I can hold out longer than you,” and then David had upped the ante by suggesting they wear butt plugs into work but continue to deny themselves. Whoever caved and masturbated first or initiated any kind of sex with the other person lost. The stakes weren’t high, and if David thought about it, no matter how it went, they both won. But denying themselves was sometimes good, a special treat that made the end result better. And when a game like this just fell into their laps, neither of them could resist playing.

Patrick played to win, so he went over to David and came right up into his husband’s personal space, making David gasp as his skin tingled in response to Patrick’s extreme closeness. Despite the difference in their heights, Patrick got his mouth up by David’s ear, whispering loudly and huffing out hot air as he did so. “Not as well as your cock would in my ass would be.”

David gulped.

“Nope, no. I will have none of that,” David said, stepping back and pointing a finger at his husband. “Now that is _definitely_ cheating.”

“Whatever you say, David,” Patrick smirked victoriously and went off to help a customer that had just come in, breaking the tension of their conversation.

Later, as they were cleaning up, David had volunteered to sweep up the store, which was very uncharacteristic of him. Usually he was begging to close out the till and have Patrick sweep instead. So it was already suspicious. David played his hand well, waiting until Patrick was lulled into a false sense of security before he started stroking the broom handle very casually, his hand moving just so.

Patrick was competitive, but he was also a thirsty little cockslut, and the sight of his husband awkwardly hunched over a broom stroking it was simultaneously the most ridiculous thing he had ever seen, and the hottest. And suddenly, winning didn’t mean denying either of them any longer.

“Back room, David,” Patrick ordered, shoving the cash drawer closed with a _briiiing_ and walking abruptly through the curtain.

“I win,” David whispered to himself before following his husband.


	28. Role Play

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to [yourbuttervoicedbeau](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiwiana/pseuds/yourbuttervoicedbeau) for the rp scenario on this one!

“I just really tore myself up getting that last run,” Patrick bemoaned as he clutched his hamstring and grimaced.

“Well, maybe you shouldn’t go so hard out there then,” David shot back, an eyebrow raised.

“I only know how to go hard,” Patrick replied easily, smirking as the corniness of his joke took them both out of the scene for a moment. He fell back into character. “We needed the win, I couldn’t let the team down.”

“Well, no need to worry,” David assured him. “I’ll get you all taken care of.”

“Thanks, man. I can’t believe I got so close to third base and then this!” Patrick sighed, rubbing his leg and shaking his head.

“Let’s see if we can’t help you get to some bases again,” David said, his voice edging on husky despite the ridiculous cheesiness of his words.

“It’s right here,” Patrick said, reaching out for David’s hand and pulling it to his thigh, resting it on the “strained” hamstring. “Feel how tight I am?” he asked, pressing David’s fingers into his upper thigh, almost but not quite at the crease where his legs met his ass. His currently baseball uniform-clad ass.

“Wow,” David said, moving his fingers along the fabric-covered muscle. “Yeah, I can tell you _are_ tight. But I’m going to get you to get down to bare skin before I can do anything about that.”

Patrick nodded solemnly, the pretense of physiotherapy an excellent reason to strip for his husband. He stood back up, feigning a wince as his affected leg slipped a little with his weight on it.

That ghastly brown woven belt unbuckled, Patrick pulled it out of the loops and rolled it loosely in his hand before tossing it onto a nearby chair. He untucked his shirt, the white of the henley marred by some dirt that Patrick had purposely not washed out after their last game for this very purpose. He worked the dark green sleeves down his arms and then pulled the whole thing slowly over his head, broad, muscular shoulders appearing out of the dirty uniform shirt.

David waited as Patrick pulled off the tank undershirt, a teasing white thing that drove David crazy when he saw it peek through the fabric covering his husband’s torso at games. He unzipped the white pants, also scuffed with dirt from last game’s slide on the dusty baseball diamond. His tighty whiteys were all that was left as Patrick toed off his shoes, pulling his pants off one leg, then the other, all while Patrick held onto David’s broad shoulder to balance.

His white socks reached far up his calves, and when Patrick turned to lay back down, he grasped at the back of his leg in mock pain, committed to the role he was playing.

“Ooh, here,” David said, batting Patrick’s hand away and soothing the spot, kneading Patrick’s skin beneath the heel of his palm. “Let’s see if we can’t work that out.” He continued his ministrations, Patrick’s leg quaking under his touch.

“It almost—” Patrick broke in after a few minutes of David working the muscles of his thigh and ass, before falling silent and waiting for David to chime in.

“What is it?” David asked, tilting his head in concern at what this athlete might need from him.

“It’s just, it almost hurts,” he paused again for dramatic effect, before gesturing to his crotch and continued, “right here.”

David made a show of examining the area, reaching through Patrick’s tightey-whiteys to grope at his cock, pressing down at the skin right at the juncture of his thighs and checking for Patrick’s response. Dutifully, he winced as David touched the muscles just between his leg and crotch. “Hmm,” David hummed thoughtfully. “It’s just as I suspected. Groin strain. You didn’t just pull a hamstring.”

“Oh no,” Patrick replied, his voice going up an octave. “How long is it going to keep me in bed? I need to be able to play in the next game!”

“Well, I have a few ideas about how we can treat it,” David said suggestively, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice and breaking character for a moment. “But you’d have to give your body over to me, let me give you what you need.”

Patrick shivered, and it wasn’t clear now whether he was still playing the role or if he was actually affected. His cock, at least, showed that the silliness of the scene and the awkwardness of the dialogue weren’t preventing him from enjoying himself. It had been his idea, after all. Well, the kink, not the specific scenario. That was all David.

Patrick nodded, and David placed his hands on Patrick again, moving purposefully as though he was trying to diagnose the specific area of strain.

“Here?” David asked, kneading the top of Patrick’s thick thigh.

“No, a little—” Patrick answered. He waited for David’s hand to move slightly, subtly directing him towards Patrick’s cock.

“Oh, here?” David asked, feigning surprise as his hand slipped over Patrick’s erection, eliciting a very _real_ groan from his husband.

“Mmm, yep, that’s it, you found it. Right there,” Patrick moaned and breathed out.

“Ah, I see. Yeah, I know just the trick for something like this,” David smirked and squeezed his hand around Patrick, working him steadily with a kind of efficiency that differed slightly from the way David usually jerked him off.

“Mm, wow, your hands are magical.” Patrick’s compliment was also very real, but was still part of the game. “I still feel like it’s not quite right, though.”

“I need to get closer to the skin,” David said, sighing. “This knot here is a little harder than I thought.”

“Oh, it’s a knot now?” Patrick asked, breaking character to tease David for muddling the scenario.

“Well, I don’t know! It’s not like your PT would ever give you a handjob as treatment anyway,” David exclaimed. “You’re the one who said we needed to suspend our disbelief!”


	29. Leather

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: T.

Now that they were married, Patrick had fewer qualms about asking what he wanted (or needed) from his husband. It was still difficult, on occasion, and sometimes he felt silly for wanting things. But. There was a very specific outfit that Patrick wanted to see on David, and his desire for that outweighed any embarrassment he had about asking for it.

So.

Patrick went into the spare bedroom that had quickly become the climate-controlled secure storage closet for David’s extensive wardrobe, in search of the particular pieces he wanted. He quickly found the Rick Owens leather pants that he had not gotten to properly appreciate because David had worn them the day Patrick was out of his senses on anesthetic and then pain pills. He remembered loving how David’s ass looked, pulled tight against the leather, how he could see the outline of David’s cock in the front, how the whole thing just made him feel gooey inside. How the trousers hung off his legs in just the right way, emphasizing everything that turned Patrick on about David’s body. So hot.

He had never really thought about _leather_ as a thing he might enjoy before, but David had worn leather enough that it had sparked something in him that he wanted to explore a little bit more. It turned out that leather was definitely _a thing_ for Patrick.

He remembered the leather sweater than David had worn the day he had done his lip sync for Patrick, given him that olive branch that brought them back together. If he thought about it, he could pick out a significant moment in their relationship for pretty much every piece of David’s wardrobe. He fingered the leather sweater, remembering that day and all its frustrations and joys, before pushing it aside. He found the leather moto jacket that David had worn the night they went for _whiskey_ with Jake, though it hadn’t been on long. Patrick remembered peeling it off him when they got back to his apartment after leaving what was _definitely_ an orgy in the making, though that night had led more to important conversations about boundaries and expectations than anything else.

It wasn’t the jacket he wanted to see David in, though. There was one that David hadn’t worn for him, ever, at least not knowingly. He searched through the hangers looking for the piece he had in mind, but couldn’t spot it.

“What are you looking for?” David asked, coming into the room behind him with a curious smile and a head tilt.

Patrick gestured to the leather pants he had selected and placed carefully on the side table. “I want to see you in these again,” he admitted with more confidence than he felt. “It’s not fair that I couldn’t fully appreciate them the last time you wore them.”

“Ah,” David said, nodding. “But you’re still looking for something,” he said, moving behind Patrick and putting his hands around his husband’s waist, pulling them close. Sometimes it was easier for Patrick to say what he wanted or needed when David’s gaze wasn’t on him.

“Mmm,” Patrick said, tipping his head back and turning it to kiss David. “This is nice.” David smirked and kissed him again, deepening it a bit before pulling away and letting Patrick go, a sure sign that he wasn’t going to allow his husband to distract him from the question at hand. “Fine. I’m looking for a leather jacket for you to wear.”

“Oh, so we’re doing a whole leather ensemble?” David asked, quirking an eyebrow.

Patrick blushed and nodded.

David’s face got all scrunched up with delight the way he did anytime he was pleased with Patrick asking for something, and asked, “Okay, what’s your vision?”

“Well, I’m looking for this specific leather jacket,” Patrick said, “But I don’t see it here.”

David’s thick brows furrowed. “Not the moto one?” he asked in confusion.

“No, not that one. I’m looking for this other one, with loose lapels. It looks a lot nicer than this one,” he said, gesturing to the moto jacket that David had worn to Jake’s. It was great, but not the one he wanted to see David in right now. David stands there, racking his brain for any other jackets Patrick has seen him in. There’s only one he hasn’t worn in front of Patrick ever, his sex jacket. That jacket more than any other piece of his clothing felt like such a part of his old life. It was the jacket he wore when they first moved to Schitt’s Creek, what he wore to pick up randoms, what he wore when he seduced Sebastien Raine. It had been packed away since then, and he was fairly certain Patrick had never seen it.

David moved over to his trunk where some special pieces were kept in storage, pieces he rarely or never wore but wanted to still keep. He pulled the Rick Owens jacket out, handing it to Patrick. “This one?” he asked bemusedly.

Patrick’s face lit up, seeing the jacket in his hands. “Yeah, that’s the one. God, I really want to see you in that again.”

“Again?” David was so confused. “When did you see me in this in the first place?”

Patrick blushed immediately. “Um. So, the day you called in about a family emergency before the store opened, I might have… gone to the motel to check on you. And you know, saw you coming out of Sebastien Raine’s room wearing it.”

David’s jaw dropped. He wasn’t sure whether to be touched or angry or betrayed or what. “You knew about Sebastien Raine?” he asked, still trying to clear this whole thing up.

“Well, no, not until later when you explained the situation and I filled in the blanks, but I still caught a glimpse of you in that jacket and was awed by how gorgeous you were in it. Will you wear it again, for me?”

“Fuck yes,” David said, ready to make new memories.


	30. Phone Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated: E

**David Rose**

How is the conference?

**Patrick Brewer**

Boring, I miss you.

**David Rose**

You’ll see me soon. Do you need me

to send my flight details?

**Patrick Brewer**

No, I have them. I’m going into the last session

of the day now, but can we talk later?

**David Rose**

We can talk whenever you like

**Patrick Brewer**

And don’t say we can talk whenever I like

Jinx!

**David Rose**

Ha ha. I just mean, I’m free this evening

Alexis wanted to hang out with Ruth tonight,

so I’m all by my lonesome

Hence the “whenever you like”

**Patrick Brewer**

Good, I need something to look forward to

This last session is on legal issues in business and

I can already tell the speaker is going to be

the most boring person I’ve ever heard

**David Rose**

Is everything okay? That’s not like you

You don’t have to go to it if you don’t

want to, you know

**Patrick Brewer**

I know. I’d just much rather be seeing

the city with you

Or doing anything with you really

**David Rose**

Stop it. I’m supposed to be the clingy one

in this marriage

**Patrick Brewer**

I just miss my husband, okay?

**David Rose**

Here. I’ll give you something to look forward to

[IMG_7839.jpg]

**Patrick Brewer**

Fuck

Okay. Fuck. Now I’m just going to be

thinking about that image of you the whole time

**David Rose**

Good – that should make the legal guy

more interesting

**Patrick Brewer**

Well now I don’t want to go

I just want to watch you get yourself off on FaceTime

**David Rose**

Gives you something to look forward to

When will you be done?

**Patrick Brewer**

Umm let me look

4:45 is the end of the session, and then there’s a happy hour at 5

If I go to that, I could be back to my room around 6:15

**David Rose**

We both know you’re going to go to that

Come on, you love networking and

talking up Rose Apothecary

**Patrick Brewer**

Yeah, you’re right I’ll go to it

Let’s say 6:30 then?

**David Rose**

[IMG_7840.jpg]

I’ll be waiting

**Patrick Brewer**

Fuck David

God, you look so good

Okay, I have to go before I get hard here

**David Rose**

I bet that would make it go faster

Love you

See you at 6:30

**Patrick Brewer**

Love you too

See you then

~

**Patrick Brewer**

Okay, back to my room

David?

**David Rose**

Sorry, got distracted by food

**Patrick Brewer**

You get some pancakes?

**David Rose**

Yeah

I am so predictable

**Patrick Brewer**

It’s one of many things I love about you

Glad you enjoyed your pancakes

You still up for stuff?

**David Rose**

Stuff? No, I’m not up for “stuff”

I’m up for hot phone sex

with my husband though

**Patrick Brewer**

Okay fine David are you still up

to have phone sex with me?

**David Rose**

Oh yes I very much am

**Patrick Brewer**

Great because I’m all alone in this hotel

room and wishing you were here with me

What would you do to me if you were here?

**David Rose**

Oh, nice segue

You’re getting better at that

**Patrick Brewer**

Not looking for feedback at the moment

But thank you

So?

**David Rose**

Oh, desperate are we?

**Patrick Brewer**

I mean, I’ve been semi hard since

you sent me those pics so

yes

**David Rose**

Well, if I were there, knowing that you’re

already semi hard, I’d probably take you

in my mouth until your cock filled me up

**Patrick Brewer**

Yes

So good

I want that

**David Rose**

Are you touching yourself thinking of me sucking you?

**Patrick Brewer**

God yes

You’re so good at this

I wish I could have you right now

Here with me

Instead of my own hands

**David Rose**

Good, I want you to want me like that

I would suck you til you’re hard,

then I would get you on your stomach

and eat you out until you screamed

Would you like that?

**Patrick Brewer**

Yes

Please

I want your tongue and your fingers

**David Rose**

I would give them to you

As much as you want, baby

I’d stroke you gently just around the rim,

make your hole pucker and shiver as I breathed on it

Lick you just right, make you whimper

Tongue you to get you nice and messy wet

And then fuck you with my fingers

**Patrick Brewer**

God David I want you so much

I’ve got my fingers in my ass now

Using dictation because I can’t type anymore

Pretending it’s your fingers not mine

David took his hand off his own cock and pressed FaceTime, calling Patrick to make things easier. Plus, he couldn’t resist seeing Patrick with his own fingers up his ass. It was a sight he didn’t get often, so this was like a special treat despite the distance between them.

Patrick picked up immediately. “David,” he whined, hand just out of view.

“Show me,” David told him. “I want to see you.” Specifically, he wanted to see Patrick’s fingers in his ass, but that went without saying.

Patrick moved the phone’s angle to tilt the camera lens down, giving David a clear view of Patrick’s hard cock dripping all over his stomach, his fingers pumping in and out of his ass.

“Fuck,” David said. “Fuck, Patrick, you’re so gorgeous. You look so good, baby.”

“It’s not you,” Patrick complained. “I wish these were your fingers. It’s not the same.”

“I know,” David agreed. “I wish it were me too. I wish I could be there with you, or you could be here.” The tone turned tender quickly, as both of them thought about the days they had already spent apart and how much more time still before they were together again.

“Fuck me, please,” Patrick said, restoring the sexy tone with his desperation. “I want to feel you in me.”

“I got you, baby,” David said, ready to talk Patrick off.


	31. Aftercare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is rated:E

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to give a huge thank you to everyone who's supported me this month as I slogged through this self-imposed challenge. Thank you to my fellow rosebuddies, to the greater Schitt's Creek fandom, and especially to those of you who have been reading and consistently commenting throughout the month. I see you, and your support means so much to me. I couldn't have gotten through it without you.

He tied off the condom, tossed it into the trash can, and moved to undo David’s restraints, gently rubbing each limb as he did so. David let him, his arms dead weight as he lay there exhausted. There were small indents in David’s wrists from the leather buckle, but it didn’t look like he had strained against them too much, at least not enough to scuff or bruise him. Patrick went away briefly into the bathroom, returning with a warm wet washcloth he used to wipe down David’s cock and stomach before manipulating him gently to also wipe at his ass.

Patrick pressed some cream against David’s hole, rubbing it in gently against the sensitive membrane, the skin there still a little slippery from the lubrication they had used and damp from the washcloth where Patrick had cleaned him, but no come seeping out thanks to the convenience of the condoms they still used on occasion.

“Come here, honey,” Patrick beckoned, pulling David into his arms once he had set down the cream. They both needed lots of skin to skin contact after a big night like this. David went easily, his body sweaty and loose, all his muscles exhausted from the strain of holding himself tight for so long. Patrick stroked his skin as the sweat cooled, holding David close.

Minutes passed as David’s breathing evened, Patrick’s heart beating in time with his husband’s as they held each other close. Patrick’s fingers wandered, as if he wanted to ensure he touched every bit of David’s body. The pads of his fingers flitted over clammy skin, the coarse hairs on David’s body sticky and damp. David sighed into Patrick’s chest, his back curved as he nuzzled into his husband’s slightly smaller frame. “Talk with me,” Patrick whispered into his ear, the usual thing he said inviting feedback or even just feelings to come out at the end of a scene like they’d just had. “You’re safe here.”

“Feels safe,” David confirmed, voice sounding far away, like he was about to drop off into sleep at any moment.

“Mmm,” Patrick hummed, not wanting his voice to be the one that dominated this conversation.

“Liked that a lot,” David said into his nipple, kissing it as he turned his head. “Intense, but good intense.”

“Hmm. Tell me what you liked about it,” Patrick asked, always wanting to improve.

“Restraints good,” David said, his speech still stilted and broken. “Liked the edging.”

“I liked that too,” Patrick reassured him. “How did the number feel?”

“Mmm, just right,” David said. “Don’t think I could have held out for another one.”

“Thank you for telling me, baby. What else?”

“Glad I got to see you,” David told him. “Like being on my stomach too, but I liked seeing you tonight.” They both went silent, remembering for the moment how close they had both felt connected like that, Patrick’s cock in David’s ass, driving him right up to the edge so many times before finally, finally allowing him to go over it.

Patrick stroked David’s arms, feeling the shiver run through his skin at Patrick’s touch. “What about the talking? What did you think about that?”

“Mmm,” David hummed into Patrick’s neck, adjusting himself so they were tangled up like a pretzel. “That was fun. You haven’t called me a cockslut in a while.”

“Hit all the right buttons for you?”

David nodded, the movement of his head resonating against Patrick’s firm chest. “And none of the wrong ones,” he confirmed. “It was good, I promise.”

“It was really good for me too, honey,” Patrick said sweetly, whispering words of love into David’s ear, humming quietly as they rocked together on the bed.

“I think I might like a bath,” David said. “I’m kind of sore.”

“Water’s ready and waiting for us,” Patrick said, smiling as he extricated himself from the embrace.

“What? When did you do that?” David asked, pulling away.

“I started the water when we got things going and turned it off when I went in to get the washcloth,” Patrick revealed.

“How did you—”

“You were pretty out of it,” Patrick explained, helping David up and handing him a bottle of water.

The water was still steaming, about a half a foot from the height of the tub rim. Updating the ensuite bathroom last summer was a great decision, because now they had this amazing tub that made aftercare so much better. David treated himself to a nice bubble bath at least once a week, and even Patrick had seriously come to appreciate it at times like this. He took the water bottle back from David, setting it down before raising his arms to support David as he climbed into the tub, wincing at first at the heat of the water.

“Oh god, this feels so nice,” David said as his body adjusted to the temperature. He carefully lowered himself into the water, waiting for Patrick to sit behind him as they often did in these situations. Patrick followed suit, standing behind him and watching the water level carefully as he slowly slid in behind David.

Patrick rested his back against the porcelain tub, pulling David up against his front and holding him close. He grabbed the loofah and body wash, lathering it up and scrubbing David’s chest gently with one hand while he used the other to hold him steady around his abs, keeping them close together in the warm water.

“Happy Anniversary,” Patrick said into David’s ear. Their first wedding anniversary had passed quicker than either of them thought that year would go. The second year of their marriage had seen change both at home and at the store, including this bathroom renovation. This time, Patrick had stayed completely out of it, leaving David to deal with Ronnie, and things had turned out _much_ better.

“Happy Anniversary,” David replied. “Thank you for marrying me.”

“Easiest decision of my life,” Patrick said, holding his husband closer and breathing into David's hair.


End file.
